Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

No ‘mother’, ever wants her child to be sexually abused


I just read a horrific story, of a woman who pimped out her mentally disabled daughters to be sexually abused, for money to buy drugs and feed her drug habit.

I don’t care what the reason, any mother who allows her children to be sexually abused, is sick and a monster. And they deserve to be locked up and never let out.

There are woman, who choose to want their children sexually abused, for no other reason, than they want them abused. I know this, because I am one of them.

I think if my mother had a drug habit, I could understand a little more. Although this is still never an excuse.

But, when there is no known reason, other than a choice and desire to want and know their daughter is being abused …..in this most abhorrent way  ….. it hurts. Really hurts.

These women who allow their children to be sexually abused…….. are child sex offenders themselves.

They are as guilty, as the men who are allowed to sexually abuse the child.

I know this is a part of my trauma history, I will never recover from.

I don’t even talk about how this makes me feel in counselling. Because I know I am expected to have some level of compassion for my mother. I’m expected to rationalise why she did it. Pretend she was possibly abused herself. Find some reason why she did it, to make me feel better. And then make my counsellor feel better.

There are no reasons, that make me feel better.

There are no excuses.

And I’m not going to make them up, just to appease others, who wish to make excuses, so they don’t have to deal with the harsh reality, that some mothers actually want and enjoy, this happening to their children. Just in the same way, paedophiles and child sex offenders, get off on sexually abusing children. They enjoy it.

I realise people make excuses, so this sick reality is minimized and made to feel a little better, a little easier.

I have too much integrity to honesty and truth, to make excuses, that somehow dilute these sick and abhorrent minds and black souls.

I accept that unless someone has actually endured this, they have no idea how it feels and therefore, have no opinion, on how the victim should feel, or think about it.

So I deal with this alone.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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I am very thankful to have this blog post shared via Twitter, by Jack Heath – CEO, SANE Australia, Founder of Inspire Foundation (Australia), Inspire USA Foundation, inspire Ireland Foundation.

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “No ‘mother’, ever wants her child to be sexually abused

  1. I completely agree. As always we’re shamed for seeing people as they are and holding them responsible for what they did. Because people don’t want to hear there truly are monsters out there…

    • Yes, I see this clearly too. We are shamed for having appropriate views of these ‘people’ – because we are expected to think in a way, that makes it easier for others.

      I also realised some time back, that mental health professionals, who deal with this child sex offenders, need to see them as more ‘human’ than they actually are, so they can handle actually talking with them and helping them.

      Of course it’s easier, to deal with a child sex offender – when you minimize the harm they cause, when you pretend there are reasons why they abuse children.

      I realise this about my counsellor – and know her needs to see them a certain way – if for her own needs, and not for mine.

      But, I refuse to appease someone else’s needs, whilst ignoring my own, so I just don’t talk about it.

      Which is sad for me, because I need someone to talk to, who actually gets it.

      So for anyone in this same position, I understand how hard it is, to deal with this alone.

      • Can’t you find a different counselor who doesn’t share her views or at least doesn’t show it? I’ve quit going to therapy and that has tremendously helped me, since they always said the wrong things (tried many different therapists). My partner does understand me completely, so sadly he has taken over such duties until we can finally find someone who thinks like him and like me.

        It’s something you definitely can’t “just” discuss. Many people seem to share this general idea that shames survivors. I always try to avoid the topic, especially with family (not with my partner). There’s a huge taboo on this. We desperately want to believe in ‘good conquers all’ and there are no truly evil people. Especially when perpetrators seem so ‘kind and normal’. “He would never do that”…

        I hope you can keep finding your strength to continue fighting for your life. I keep hoping we can eventually forget every bad ‘unhumane’ thing that happened..