Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Why ‘The Bowen Family Systems Theory’ is a load of BS.


Quote by Murray Bowen…

“Gaining more knowledge of one’s distant families of origin can help one become aware that there are no angels and devils in a family: they were human beings, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, each reacting predictably to the emotional issue of the moment, and each doing the best they could with their own life course”.

What a load of fucking bullshit.

Clearly Murray Bowen wasn’t raised by highly abusive people. Clearly he knows nothing about narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths. Or chooses to ignore it. And choses to ignore how intentional their abuse is.

The bullshit attitude that every person is ‘doing the best they can’ is absolute fucking crap.

And the very fact my counsellor buys into this bullshit, is why I will not be returning.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario



Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Why ‘The Bowen Family Systems Theory’ is a load of BS.

  1. I agree 100% with this post.
    It is definitely a complete load of crap.
    I feel intense RAGE when I hear this.

    It’s EXTREME “minimizing” & “invalidating” & “denial” of abuse.

    Also it seems like they say these things in order to intentionally hurt abuse victims.

    They are abusers themselves because only an abuser would say something this stupid and cruel.

    • Thank you Jules, for confirming this is invalidation and such minimization.

      I appreciate you confirming you see how wrong these attitudes are.

      I find it quite bizarre, that an mental health professional, who has clients who have been victimised and abused so badly….. would spout this BS that there are ‘no victims’.

      It makes me really angry too.

      It basically endorses abusers attitudes. And that’s how I know it is toxic.

      Thank you again.

      Lilly ❀

      • I agree! It is very bizarre.
        When people have said this to me I experienced such blinding rage I couldn’t speak. But really what could I possibly say in response to something this ignorant & clueless. For me, it reveals that they don’t “get it” at all and also that I can’t trust them at all.

      • I think it is only normal that people who have attitudes that reflect what abusers say/think …. and invalidate suffering, and minimize the intentionality and responsibility of abusers for what the suffering they have caused…. would lead to a lack of trust.

        Why would we trust someone who thinks like that?

        It would be bizarre of us, to trust people with these attitudes.

        We know the harm they cause.


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