Daily Archives: June 21, 2016
I won’t be repeating this, ever again.
I have been feeling as bad as it can get, over the last few days. Such intense emotions, that I am either zoned out, dissociated, or thinking of suicide and really wishing that was an option.
Betrayal. Abandonment. Someone minimizing trauma,. Knowing I’ve trusted someone I shouldn’t. Knowing I thought someone genuinely cared – yet all along they didn’t. People making excuses for those who cause others to suffer. Intense pain. Grieving the loss of a significant relationship.
You’d think I’d be used to it by now. It’s a pattern in my life. Repeated over and over. Deepening the wounds every time.
It hurts. More than I can explain.
I was suicidal last night. Thinking of ways I could end my life.
It’s only knowing I will hurt my children if I do that, that stops me. Their pain if I did that, matters more, than the pain I feel now.
All I do know, is to stop this pattern occurring anymore, I have stay away from people.
Trust no-one.
Depend on no-one.
Minimize the opportunity for people to hurt you. Continue reading
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