Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

When speaking up, made your life worse ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


A post to my page today, to validate how speaking up, can make life worse. And why. And how painful this is. Empathy is needed.

When speaking up, made things worse

I want to acknowledge this, for those who did find the courage to speak up and it made their lives worse.

People often say, we need to be courageous, we need to speak up, etc etc…… without understanding the consequences of this, for some.

For some people, speaking up, made their lives worse.

Rejection from family &/or friends, not being believed, being ostracised from family, church etc, having people side with the abuser, court systems failing, not guilty court verdicts…. There are many awful consequences, that can occur, when a survivor of abuse tries to speak up and advocate for themselves.

The pain of all this, is further trauma and I validate that, for anyone who has endured it.

It can worsen someone’s situation, deepen the wounds and cause such terrible pain caused by rejection. It creates loneliness and a deep feeling of being unloved, uncared for and a sense of hopelessness, in many cases.

I can also see how triggering it is, for survivors who did find the courage to speak… seeing all these beliefs being voiced, about how the strongest survivors, are those who spoke up. When all that did, was make life worse.

If you relate to this, in any way…… please know, it is okay to acknowledge this, to know it is further trauma, and to know so much self compassion is needed.

I do understand the rejection, the pain of non belief, the pain of being ostracised etc.

There are many dealing with this pain and I have much compassion for you.

It is terrible to be abused and harmed, and even more terrible to not receive the support, love, belief and care much needed and deserved.

I know you deserve to be believed, to be validated, to be supported. You deserve that courage it took to speak up, recognised.

And if you didn’t receive this …. I am so so sorry. That is not what you deserved. At all.

Much love and compassion.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario ❤ ❤

I am so glad this post on Facebook, was helpful to people. This post received many comments from people explaining how speaking up did make their lives worse and caused further suffering, pain and aloneness. It is heartbreaking reading their stories and hearing the pain in their words.

But, I am thankful I am someone who is willing to speak about the painful aspects of this journey and how you can be trying really hard, and be very courageous, and it does not always make your life better and it can make it worse.

I am glad I am someone willing to speak about these issues, which not many are speaking about.

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “When speaking up, made your life worse ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. Speaking out has made my life worse.
    I spoke out to family, friends, and counselors and I just got more abuse.

    Also, for me, describing the abuse makes me extremely physically sick and very suicidal.

    I’ve had to discover my own healing process. I’ve learned to trust my own process.

  2. Lilly, just read this article entitled
    “One Year Ago Today I Spoke Up.”
    and wanted to share it with you.

    It’s very encouraging to see more blogs and articles that reflect the same things that your work does which makes me feel hopeful.

    Here’s the link…..


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