It takes courage to accept where you are, what the reality of your life is. And to stop hoping it will change, when it clearly won’t.
I am in a reality where I am stuck.
My children and their needs, have to come before my own.
So I remain within a situation I cannot escape.
And that forces me into further aloneness.
I am not physically alone.
But, I am alone…. emotionally, mentally.
You cannot find deep and genuine adult connections or love, with people who are not capable of them, or with people who cannot return them.
So, I accept my reality.
And I have given up assuming it will change.
I am grieving this reality.
The reality, of being completely alone.
And this is not some complex trauma distorted thinking, as some would assume.
It is my actual reality.
My life has always been unhealthy relationships, or caring about people who do not care about me in return.
I know why and accept that is how my life has gone and I can’t change it.
Alone, is how it has always been…. and will continue to be for a long time.
Because 45 years of being alone, is already far too long.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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