Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Some things are better left unsaid.


I’m a big fan of being honest and being truthful. But, sometimes the truth hurts more than you can bear. Sometimes, I wish I had not been so honest and wish I could take words back.

I think some things are better left unsaid, as long as the unspoken words are not hurting anyone else.

some things are bette rleft unsaid


Being honest with someone about how you feel, can lead to different outcomes and some of those outcomes are really painful. I think it’s best to consider all the outcomes, and consider whether you can handle all the different outcomes, before speaking. Something I really did not consider recently and I deeply and painfully regret.

It’s painful to live with words spoken that were far better left unsaid. Especially when the outcome, is something that extinguishes any hope, any light you had in your life.

There are some situations, where honesty is not the best policy.

And that is a terribly painful reality.

(I think I need to add here, that this is not about words I have spoken that have hurt anyone else. The hurt caused, was to myself and the pain of that, is hard to deal with).

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

9 thoughts on “Some things are better left unsaid.

  1. Hi Lilly,

    Ach – feel terrible, I am sincerely sorry. Never meant to hurt or cause issues for yourself or anyone. Think it’s all still a bit raw at the moment – obviously best to keep stuff inside. Sometimes think I should have thought of what you state a year or so ago.

    Hope you understand.

    Many apologies again,

  2. Lilly, thank you so very very much for this post!!

    I had decided today to be really honest with some family members about how I feel but I’m certain that this post saved me from making a terrible mistake!!!!!

    After considering the outcomes as you recommend I saw that the things I was going to say would probably lead to a bad outcome for my wellbeing and safety.

    So grateful I read your blog today!!

    • I am glad if this post helped you Jules❤

      I think speaking in a truly honest way, needs to be done very carefully. With all outcomes considered and whether it will help us, or make our lives worse.

      I'm usually fairly careful about what I say. But, I was in a very vulnerable state and put myself in a vulnerable situation – by telling someone my feelings and it didn't go well. I had not predicted the outcome.

      Now, I have live the consequences of that. And it's very painful.

  3. I’m stuck…..thought I was moving along, slowly……but now I’m stuck…..and I have no hope…..

    • Bonnie, I am so sorry you are in this dark and lonely place❤

      I know that place well and I know how painful it is. When I get to this point, I have to force myself to just take it one day at a time, and try to focus on self care, which includes resting when needed. We often feel physically, emotionally and psychologically drained, and need to rest.

  4. This is so true. When I was younger, I was exposed to anti-Semitism because I’m Jewish and we lived in a predominantly white, Christian-type neighborhood. It was never a problem for me, I had a pretty thick skin. But when I married my abuser, I learned the power of words. 15 years of being bashed over the head with ugly words really took their toll. I also realized that, while not as bad as my ex, I had a problem with not thinking before I spoke. Over the years I’ve learned to be more mindful of what I say; but that old adage of “Sticks and stones….” is not true at all.

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