Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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A conversation that shows how people defend perpetrators and ignore the victim ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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I have a ladies group I organise and attend and a very interesting conversation recently occurred. The conversation was about the increase in armed robberies, in fast food places, within our area.

As it was being discussed, I noticed not one person commented on the trauma of having a  gun or a knife etc, in your face. And how most of the fast food staff are young, and how this would feel.

Not one.

But, several spoke of the ‘reasons’ aka ‘excuses’ for the armed robbery. One woman stated it was probably motivated by drugs and how awful it must be to be a drug addict. One said you must be a very desperate person to need to do that.

But no mention of the victims…

When ‘I’ mentioned the trauma this armed robbery would cause the victims, no-one bothered to consider that and it was immediately dismissed. It was dismissed in particular by one woman who really believed she was ‘so compassionate’ and ‘non judgmental’ to be thinking of the perpetrator, yet she showed NO compassion to those victimised.

It really re-iterated how screwed up people’s thinking is.

And how people often will jump straight to the perpetrators defence, but show no empathy for the person traumatised by this intentional act of crime and harm.

This is not about compassion….. this is about what people need to do, to make life seem better than it is, and so they can believe heinous people and the heinous harm they do to others, seem not so bad. Or make themselves ‘feel good’ about being nice to perpetrators. All self serving and deluding themselves as to the real motivations for their thinking.

If anyone has REAL empathy and compassion – they would put themselves in the shoes of the victim, and see the horror and trauma the victim has been subjected to. But, they don’t want to think about that…. because that is about dealing with reality and the truth about the deep harm people choose to inflict on others. So easier ignored.

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Do not use ‘mental health advocacy’ to shame and silence an abuse survivor ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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I’ve had this happen to me several times. I’ve had ‘mental health advocates’ try to shame me, for speaking up about the INTENTIONAL abuse caused by pathologically personality disordered abusers – such as narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and paedophiles.

ANY attempt to silence an abuse survivor and stop them speaking up – is toxic and comes from a toxic mind, that clearly has NO empathy for abuse survivors.

I do not tolerate being shamed any longer, for speaking up.

I am an abuse survivor advocate and a mental health advocate. Speaking the TRUTH – is always needed. And I will continue to do so.

I refuse to be silenced. I will always speak up. I will always educate others. I will always validate the suffering caused by abuse and abusers.

Personality disorders DO NOT render a person incapable of making non abusive choices.

The reason they abuse, is because they are rewarded by their abuse. The reward is – they want to hurt others and they enjoy it. With no remorse, no conscience, no willingness to stop. But they are ‘unwilling’ not ‘unable’. Continue reading