Self care, boundaries and balance, are always an ongoing part of my journey. When you are not taught or modelled healthy boundaries, healthy balance and self care in your formative years, you often struggle with them in adulthood.
It takes insight and self honesty and the willingness to take advice, to improve these.
I have compulsive behaviours, which I have self compassion about (now). I also have issues with feeling overly responsible for helping others…. due to parentification abuse as a child/teenager. I was made to have adult responsibilities, by my unhealthy and selfish mother.
I have the self insight to know I have issues, and that I need to manage them. And I have the insight to know – these don’t change overnight.
You cannot change 4 decades worth of
belief systems and behaviours, overnight.
It takes a lot of time, perseverance and
willingness to want to change.
It’s a journey and a process, that
requires continual honest self reflection.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
I have discussed this recently, in counselling. This issue was raised and my counsellor, who is also a doctor – stated she too needed to address balance when she first started her GP practice. She worked too many hours and needed to cut back, to have healthier balance.
I listened, and I could see where I am spending too much time on social media and the internet. Although I have cut down from the amount time spent online, from previous years, I still need more balance for a healthier life.
It was suggested I take weekends off and I agreed. If I view my work online as a job, I would have weekends off. So now I do.
This weekend was lovely and I had more quality time with my family. I was able to be more mindful of the here and now, and not be continually thinking of my online work.
And, I have noticed my anxiety levels drop on the days I am not online. Which is a really good outcome for my overall health and wellbeing.
I explained on my Facebook page, what I am now doing. I hope in modelling this better balance, others who need better balance too may consider their needs and address them. Which then will lead to their wellbeing improving. Something I want for everyone.
I am always upfront with my journey, in the hope it helps validate, support and give hope to those who are experiencing similar.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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