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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD
I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario
August 31, 2016 at 2:07 pm
Boy, that eliminates my whole family. As you said, learned it from trying to be with all of them!! What a thankless adventure. Your post really helps me understand and cope with self love!!!
August 31, 2016 at 4:23 pm
I am sorry your family are like this. I am glad the validation of this post, helps you have self love and self compassion.
We really need it.
Lilly ❤
August 31, 2016 at 6:36 pm
I think I always knew it, but had a mental block that kept me from seeing it happening in front of me.
Lots of toxic family members here too, particularly my mom and wife. It was very difficult to admit that they were so disingenuous, callous, and vicious.
Part of that was just the function of the abuse, but I think down in my core I knew what it meant if I admitted to it — not even the two people you would expect to love me when no one else will, think I’m worthy of honesty or love. The loneliness is crushing.
Whether they are capable of honesty, candor, and rationality or not, they have decided that they *won’t* be kind and honest.
Well, even if I didn’t know it before, I certainly know it now.
August 31, 2016 at 6:42 pm
Yes, I think we go through not understanding they are toxic, then understanding but still thinking we can get them to be reasonable….. to finally accepting you cannot make someone be reasonable, or rational, or honest etc.
They have to want to change, and if they don’t, it is futile to expect any.
❤
August 31, 2016 at 11:23 pm
This is my family, all over, especially my mother. 😦
September 1, 2016 at 10:03 pm
❤