Turning hypervigilance into discernment, is healing ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Hypervigilance, is fear based. It is based upon the fear that people are not what they seem, and will hurt you, or be harmful in some way. The traumatised brain goes into panic when it senses someone may pose a threat to our wellbeing.

Hypervigilance, is very understandable, when someone has experienced ongoing abuse, where they believed their life or safety to be at imminent risk. It is a skill that was required to stay safe.

Part of healing complex trauma, is to turn the hypervigilance of the fear of people and the need to work them out for any sign of potential harm….. into careful and steady discernment. Discernment is healthy and a deeper skill than many people do not normally have.

Discernment allows us to calmly work out people’s motivations and behaviours…. without the fear of hypervigilance, that makes us shut down, withdraw or isolate.

Discernment allows us to accurately read people and then in a calm manner – decide on the actions we may need to take, and the boundaries we may need as a result.

I am adding to this blog, following a question about how we actually develop discernment. This was my response….

Discernment starts by having self control and impulse control. When we sense something is potentially wrong, we have to stop, sit back, not act and think about it. It requires not having fear based processing/reactions. We also learn to consider people’s words, actions, patterns. If words and actions conflict. Watch how people treat others. Do they treat others well? Also understanding selfish and unselfish behaviours. The motivation behind people’s behaviours. It is a skill set that takes the capacity to really understand human behaviour.

Feedback about my Website & resources ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I am thankful to receive lovely and encouraging feedback from Athena Moberg…

“Excellent resource. You’re SO welcome! I am so very encouraged by your work and even though we’ve never met, I feel like I know you… I feel so inspired and blessed to have your website as a resource. Thank you, Lilly <3”

Athena’s Website is @ http://athenamoberg.com/

Athena Moberg is a writer, speaker, and trauma recovery coach to adult survivors… of childhood sexual abuse, incest, trafficking, and narcissistic abuse.

She educates and creates awareness about all forms of abuse and its debilitating after effects, while sharing her 40 year battle and recovery journey.

Family violence causes same brain activity, as soldiers in combat ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Read at https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/news-articles/1112/111205-maltreated-children-fMRI-study

As per this study conducted, children exposed to family violence and abuse, show the same pattern of brain activity as soldiers in combat.

The huge difference is, they are vulnerable children, with little coping skills, as compared to an adult.

This continual trauma to the child’s growing brain, means the child is wired for fear and anxiety and this continues on into adulthood. The ongoing trauma, affects brain development and affects the adult the child becomes and affects all areas of life.

When this trauma and abuse is caused by parents and family, this creates huge and understandable issues with trust, abandonment and isolation.