I had a comment left today, saying that whilst my flower pics are lovely (my last blog), that she feels my posts are not helping her with her CPTSD, stated in an attitude that all I do is ‘not good enough’. I get complainers from time to time, who are bitter, narcissistic and irrational.
So my website, which has taken me several years to build, my nearly 4000 blogs on this WordPress blog, and my daily posting on social media….. are not ‘good enough’ for ‘her’.
I wonder if this complainer has a website she has spent years building that helps thousands of people every week?
I wonder if she has taken everything learned in several years of therapy, and written and shared it all, to help others – due to a heart of compassion?
I wonder if she has had blogs, articles and resources published, including in best selling books, that help many?
I wonder if she has a large social media following where she posts diligently every day to help others?
I wonder if she has many mental health professionals supporting, sharing and recommending her work?
I wonder if she has done all that, whilst at times being in deep emotional pain, trying to work on her own healing, like I have?
I doubt it.
In fact, I would say 99.9% sure, she has done none of that.
And in her bizarre, irrational, totally selfish mind…. all of that, is not good enough. And feels entitled to complain. With no regard how her nastiness, may affect me.
Wow. It really is wow. Utterly bizarre.
One thing I have learned in this journey, is no matter how much you do, for some it will not be good enough. They will choose to criticise and try to tear you down. They troll around, looking for somewhere to vent their bitterness and narcissism. Projecting their own lack – onto others. Passively aggressively causing harm and feeling entitled to do so.
People, can be incredibly horrible. Utterly selfish to the core. No human decency. No gratitude for what someone has made incredible efforts to provide.
But, then there are all the many decent people, the thankful people, the kind people, the rational people, the people with human decency, who do understand the lengths and effort I take, to reach out and help others. Who see why I do this and understand it is due to my compassion for others and desire to help, in any way I can. And the huge amount of commitment and continual effort I have expended to undertake and achieve all this.
And it those people – I cherish and focus on.
Humanity never fails to disgust me….. or astound me due to such goodness. There are both ends of this continuum, and a whole range in between.
The good part is, my self esteem is healthy enough to know I do indeed provide and do enough. In fact, more than I ever need to.
I am secure in my understanding of who I am, my motivations and my heart.
Which is healing progress, I am glad to reflect on.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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