It is so important for many complex trauma survivors to see normal and appropriate human reactions – to the horror and abuse they have endured.
My therapist had tears today as we discussed my childhood and my highly abusive mother. My therapist had a good mother and yet was upset knowing how much I missed out, in having a sociopathic/narcissistic mother. So much so, that she had tears.
We’ve had conversations in the past where I have stated when people (including her) don’t have normal reactions to heinous abuse and abusers…. it flags as dangerous to me. It makes me shut down and prevents any trust in that person.
So, it was very validating and helpful in my increasing trust in my therapist, to see this normal human reaction of compassion for all I endured and all the pain, loss and grief I endure.
Building trust with people, when you have suffered so much trauma and betrayal – can take a long time.
I’ve been in therapy now nearly 5 years, and it’s been a rocky time. But, I am in a place, where I am feeling ‘safe enough’ and have enough trust to talk about the worst things, the shame I feel and the pain.
Real, normal human emotions to what we have endured… matters.
And feeling ‘safe enough’ is vital for many of us.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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