I am not thankful for all the abuse I have endured in my life….. I don’t thank abusers for the harm they inflict. I don’t do all that shallow rationalising that I somehow ‘needed’ to be abused, to help others.
But, I am glad I am someone able to use all the trauma I have endured, to help others – through an understanding of lived experience.
Spiritual abuse is something I have endured. Grooming from a pastor, narcissistic abuse from him, his wife, the senior pastor and most of the flock, who sided with the abusers, as often happens.
Toxic churches handle abuse really badly. They re-traumatise the victims over and over. Too many toxic churches and toxic church people victim blame, victim shame, and protect the abusers. It goes on a lot in the more conservative, fundamentalist churches.
I know the pain and suffering this causes.
I have such compassion for people who have endured spiritual abuse, which is also emotional and psychological abuse.
Spiritual abuse is severe abuse and greatly impacts people’s lives.
Compassion is needed for people treated horrendously by toxic church people, and I have compassion.
It can greatly affect someone’s faith and I have compassion for that too. I have no judgment of the struggle many have due to spiritual abuse. I have no judgment of people turning away from their faith. It happens and I have empathy.
Spiritual abuse survivors needs support, compassion and understanding. And that’s what I offer.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.
All rights reserved.
No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, screenshots, copying & pasting, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods.
This includes adaptations in all forms of media.
Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 
October 4, 2016 at 2:56 pm
Thank you for sharing this. This is the first blog I have read that describes this type of abuse. I was sexually abused for years as a child, lost my father when I was eight, married a psychopath who became a pastor for awhile. Later around the same age as you, I began to deal with my childhood abuse and sought help from the pastor of our church. Instead of helping me, he groomed me and violated me and the whole church supported him and turned against me. I lost my whole community. A female pastor associated with this church, told me that I needed to get into therapy right away and called a therapist who had helped her deal with her childhood sexual abuse. He too was also a pastor. I met with him for around two years. He groomed me over a long period of time, which eventually ended in him raping me. I have felt so alone in this type of abuse. I have gone for years trying to cope on my own with all of the fear and anxiety. I lost everything. I started blogging a little over a year ago and just recently was able to risk going to therapy again. I am sorry for all that happened to you. Thank you for speaking up about such a painful and misunderstood subject.
October 5, 2016 at 1:40 am
Father Leo Booth authored a ground breaking self-help volume on spiritual abuse. Also see Safe People by Cloud and Townsend.
October 6, 2016 at 5:05 am
I know this one well. Being forced to participate for years and years is abuse. As a kid my parents often call the shots on religious participation issues. I was so happy to walk away from religion a year after my Bar Mitzvah at age 14 when I got into a disagreement with the Rabbi over an issue. If you can’t escape it, get kicked out!
The wounds are deep.