Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It’s okay to not be okay & courage does not always roar ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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I have accepted that my journey is not linear, it is not an escalator ride up. I have good days, bad days and ugly days. The good days are increasing in numbers, but I have to have self compassion for the bad days, I do still endure.

Some people ‘roar’ their courage and they need that persona of a strong roaring fighter survivor. But, for many of us- we have a quieter, less obvious courage, that is no less courageous at all.

It takes courage and strength to admit having good, bad and ugly days. And that strength, transparency and honesty – I really value. I’ve seen too many masks in my life.

I appreciate the vulnerability is takes to be honest about how the journey often can be, and for many of us – that does not include ‘roaring’ every day.

Yesterday, I had a day where I literally did nothing, except watch TV, do a little homework with my youngest son and I was very quiet, very withdrawn. I didn’t even get dressed. And that was all I was capable of. Doing the homework with my son, was quite an achievement, considering how low I was feeling. And I’m totally okay with this capacity on harder days.

I have learned, it is okay, to not be okay. And in fact, people relate to this honesty and transparency more.


Some days I feel strong, some days I don’t – and that is absolutely okay. I need no validation from anyone – to support how I should be coping.

Some days – just getting to the end of the day – is a huge achievement. And that is good enough. And takes more courage than some would realise.


‘I’ know I am dong my best every day – and that is good enough for ‘me’. And I extent this compassion to others. I don’t pressure anyone to be society’s demand/view of strong. Just getting to the end of the day – takes immense strength for many, and that ‘is’ good enough.

One thing I have increased in throughout this healing journey – is empathy for others and to not place demands or judgments on other people’s journeys. If people are doing okay – that is great. If they are not dong okay, I offer support and compassion. And I encourage people not to compare or view themselves as weaker, compared to those ‘roaring’ their courage.

It is interesting watching how people view what constitutes as courage. And I see very clearly – courage often does not roar, or appear obvious to others.

But, I see it. I value it. And I know it is just as worthy of recognition.

And that – is about empathy.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

One thought on “It’s okay to not be okay & courage does not always roar ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. This post had a big impact on me because my inner critic constantly tells me I’m a coward and/or I feel like a coward.

    The inner critic and deep shame contribute to my belief that I am a coward.

    This post gives me a new foundation and perspective on courage that I can add to my Recovery Toolbox.

    (Lilly, I submitted a comment a few minutes ago that said basically the same as above but I put the wrong email address of julesopal etc. so please disregard that comment. Thanks)