I have accepted that my journey is not linear, it is not an escalator ride up. I have good days, bad days and ugly days. The good days are increasing in numbers, but I have to have self compassion for the bad days, I do still endure.
Some people ‘roar’ their courage and they need that persona of a strong roaring fighter survivor. But, for many of us- we have a quieter, less obvious courage, that is no less courageous at all.
It takes courage and strength to admit having good, bad and ugly days. And that strength, transparency and honesty – I really value. I’ve seen too many masks in my life.
I appreciate the vulnerability is takes to be honest about how the journey often can be, and for many of us – that does not include ‘roaring’ every day.
Yesterday, I had a day where I literally did nothing, except watch TV, do a little homework with my youngest son and I was very quiet, very withdrawn. I didn’t even get dressed. And that was all I was capable of. Doing the homework with my son, was quite an achievement, considering how low I was feeling. And I’m totally okay with this capacity on harder days.
I have learned, it is okay, to not be okay. And in fact, people relate to this honesty and transparency more.
Some days I feel strong, some days I don’t – and that is absolutely okay. I need no validation from anyone – to support how I should be coping.
Some days – just getting to the end of the day – is a huge achievement. And that is good enough. And takes more courage than some would realise.
‘I’ know I am dong my best every day – and that is good enough for ‘me’. And I extent this compassion to others. I don’t pressure anyone to be society’s demand/view of strong. Just getting to the end of the day – takes immense strength for many, and that ‘is’ good enough.
One thing I have increased in throughout this healing journey – is empathy for others and to not place demands or judgments on other people’s journeys. If people are doing okay – that is great. If they are not dong okay, I offer support and compassion. And I encourage people not to compare or view themselves as weaker, compared to those ‘roaring’ their courage.
It is interesting watching how people view what constitutes as courage. And I see very clearly – courage often does not roar, or appear obvious to others.
But, I see it. I value it. And I know it is just as worthy of recognition.
And that – is about empathy.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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