I realise there comes a point when counselling needs to end. And I do believe I have come to the end of needing this counselling. For many reasons. Good and not good – which I don’t feel the need to explain, or defend.
My counsellor is away now for 3 weeks. So, this will give me time to adjust to not having or needing therapy.
It will be hard, ending a therapy relationship of nearly 5 years. But, I am aware it would need to happen at some point. And there is a part of me, that needs that to be my choice/decision.
I’ve had so many choices taken away from me all through my life, that I need to make important choices for myself. And I realise I am also wanting to avoid any feeling of abandonment, or rejection, which I know will always be there under the surface, even though I can manage this better.
I have things now in place – like my photography course, to take my mind of any sadness, or grieving I will feel. Often when something is happening in my life, the first person I think of to tell, is my counsellor. And I need to end that now.
I need to rely on and trust only me. And everyone else be a part of my life, out of choice, but not because I depend on them. I want my complete independence back, where I need to rely on no-one. Continue reading