Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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‘I’ have my best interests at heart & what I have, is enough ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have spent a lot of time in my life, being very hypervigilant, as to people’s motivations.  And it is now highly skilled discernment.

After the latest issues arising in counselling, other issues in my life occurring…… I really have come to the point of no longer caring about what other people think and simply accept that no-one actually has my best interests at heart.

And that’s okay.

Because I only need to worry about what my motivations are.

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I don’t want to work people out anymore. I don’t want to know if someone is having ‘red flag’ behaviours and attitudes. I just need to keep people at a safe emotional distance and not rely on, or depend on anyone and not care if they have ulterior motives.

I have people in my life, who I don’t depend on, but are there for conversation and nice company. I am there for them and their life issues, but I don’t get too involved. I choose not to further those friendships to anything more than the times we meet each fortnight.

I’m starting my photography course next year and I will form connections there, about this shared passion.

I no longer want or need anymore.

I know there are people who will say complex trauma is only healed within trusting, close relationships. And I do believe that is needed for many. I am not arguing that is not needed. But, for me….. it isn’t going to happen. Continue reading


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So so sad for a 13 year old boy, who ended his life for 2 years of bullying, about being gay ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Bullying is abuse, and it is never okay. I am so sick of hearing excuses for people who feel entitled to abuse others.

A boy who lives near me, ended his life, because he was abused every day in school for 2 years. It started in grade 5 and continued on until grade 7. Every day he was called names like faggot, gay boy and teased because he was feminine.

I know what it feels like, to be that age and be in so much pain, you desperately want it to end. Different type of abuse, but that overwhelming pain and suffering, is so terrible.

Being LGBTIQ does not make you a bad person.

But, being an abuser and getting enjoyment from abusing someone else, does make you a bad person.

I am SO SICK of hearing – “oh but the abuser must be in pain too”. For a start that is an assumption, and some abusers have not been abused themselves.

And…..

I DON’T CARE IF THEY ARE IN PAIN

– IT NEVER MAKES IT OKAY

TO ABUSE SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

I’ve been in horrendous pain. Abused horrifically and I have NEVER wanted to abuse someone.

BEING ABUSED DOES NOT

MAKE SOMEONE AN ABUSER.

It is BULLSHIT that being in pain ‘makes’ someone an abuser.

THEY CHOOSE to be an abuser.

They could also choose not to be.

A boy, is now dead. In fact, thousands of children and teenagers are ending their life every month around the world – due to abuse. His life is gone, ended. It ended before it really even started.

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This all comes down to a lack of empathy, a lack of conscience and a lack of shame, guilt and remorse. And society normalising this and encouraging it.

It’s all the traits of narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths.

And what do most people want to do………… fucking make excuses and make the abusers seem less heinous. Continue reading


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No, you do not ‘have’ to be thankful at thanksgiving ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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My message of empathy for people who understandably, cannot feel positive emotions, and do not ‘have’ to, just because of the time of year, or because others say we ‘should’.

If you are feeling thankful, that’s great.

If you are not, that’s valid too.

No shame or judgment, from me.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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