2017 – will be the year I change focus, my priorities and my future ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I am an intuitive, emotional person, who cares deeply about others, feels others pain and worries a lot about people being harmed. I am a very empathic person and I know that has caused me a lot of problems, in the last 45 years.

I have been processing trauma and grieving it, for the last 5 years. It’s horrendous and I make no apology for not minimizing the horrific nature of processing severe abuse and every type of abuse. I only deal with honesty, truth and reality.

But, I don’t intend and never did intend – giving this horrific stuff room in my life, forever.

So, it’s time to toughen up.

I will continue to do my part, on my social media etc. But, my boundaries are really strong now, and I don’t tolerate anything unhealthy or toxic. And I have no issue with removing unhealthy people – because I know they are not in any way my responsibility to fix or heal. Gone are the days when I felt responsible for unhealthy people.

And for that – I make no apology.

2017, will be the year I care only about what ‘I’ actually need to care about. For my life. For my children. For my future.

I need to focus on certain things that I know will push me in terms of coping – like my photography course. So, I need to evaluate what is important and ignore and remove all that is not.

I won’t cope well unless I prioritise and get rid of anything that is not imperative to my succeeding in becoming a professional photographer. That, and my children – are my main focus and the only things I actually need to focus on. My course affects my future and the future of my children. So, nothing is more important than that.

The rise and encouraging of narcissism in society – Donald Trump & Kanye West

It is my belief – like many experts – that narcissism is rising continually in society. I see so many examples of this. I see it in parenting, on TV (reality TV, programs like Mean Girls), I see it in politics and I see it in celebrities.

It’s everywhere.

And there are two clear examples showing the rise of narcissism, at it’s worst. Donald Trump and Kanye West. Both exude narcissism, entitlement, ego, lack of conscience/empathy etc…….. the list goes on.

I’ve seen talk about Trump being a psychopath, and I agree, he also exudes those traits too. I personally believe him to be a narcissistic psychopath. Some would say Malignant Narcissist.

Kanye West has been declared a narcissist, by psychologists – who have examined his social media, his outbursts on stage declaring someone has been wrongly awarded at a music awards. His beliefs about himself are incredulous. he truly sees himself as a God. Now, with his recent hospitalisation for extreme paranoia and depression, some are saying maybe he has Bipolar. I see the similarities, but clearly see West has enduring personality traits, that always mean he continually sees himself as superior, as the best, as Godlike, as needing special treatment and has absolutely no self insight. His upset at being ignored by Beyoncé and her husband when Kim K was robbed – shows the narcissistic injury. I don’t believe he only feels paranoia and delusions of grandeur when on a mania trip. I think he has delusions of grandeur all the time. And these recent issues, simply validate my beliefs more. A lot of narcissists, have paranoia issues. I’ve seen that occurring.

People will say ‘why label people’. Well, diagnoses are needed, so others can know what they are dealing with. Narcissism is an enduring and toxic personality issue, that rarely ever changes. As is psychopathy and sociopathy. They don’t respond to therapy…. despite what some therapists will claim.

I will continue to raise awareness, regardless of how that is received. I couldn’t care less anymore, as to what people think of me. I know the damage narcissism causes, and the victims of these people – are all I care about.

And no, I cannot diagnose anyone, but there are enough experts stating exactly what these men are, and I agree.

As for Trump, well the man disgusts me. He is far more dangerous than West. Both of them make my skin crawl, but Trump scares me. He is relentless in his need to win. Ruthless in his need to win. I’ve seen those psychopathic traits and they are very dangerous.

I see West as a child in a mans body. I find him quite pathetic and I pity him.

Trump, however, I believe to be a dangerous man.

I will be starting 2017, with no faith & no counsellor. And yet, I am looking forward to it ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2017, will be an interesting year. It is certainly not going to start the way I assumed it would. But, that’s life – you cannot predict what will happen. You can only accept what comes and have the resilience to withstand it and make the best of it.

I have made no secret of my faith issues. I am at a point, where I cannot think about it anymore, because it’s too painful. There is no resolving of the issues I feel. So, for now, I am avoiding thinking about it.

My counselling, has ended in a sad way, but….. I am great believer in people revealing who they truly are, in time. And I don’t need counselling anymore.

2017, will be a year – where I learn how to become a professional photographer, get m book finished and published. That’s a lot for me, and will take me out of my current comfort zone.

But, if there’s one thing I am – beyond any doubt – is a survivor. I am stronger now, than I have been over the last 5 years. My resilience levels are stronger. My boundaries are safer and my self esteem is higher, than ever before.

I know I will become a good photographer. I already have a blog, with over 500 views in less than a week, and professional photographers encouraging my work. And I don’t even know what I am doing yet. I am simply relying on the quality of the camera at the moment.

All holidays and ‘special days’ can be incredibly hard for complex trauma survivors ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All holidays and ‘special days’ can be incredibly hard for complex trauma survivors.
Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter etc ….. all of them, can be times when complex trauma survivors – struggle the most and feel a lot of pain and feel so terribly alone.
I have the empathy to know this and not police how people ‘should’ be feeling.
Telling people how they ‘should’ feel – is for people who lack empathy and lack insight into complex trauma.
And no ma…tter how I am personally doing, I will never forget all the times I have been at my worst.
When life did not feel worth living.
When I wanted to give up, because it hurt too much.
I will never forget, others feel like that too.
I keep this in mind, rather than flaunt my healing.

 

And I am aware – it is this sensitivity and empathy for others, that many relate to.
And why people write to me constantly telling me, they feel safe on my page and blog

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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It’s a pointless task trying to explain empathy, to those who choose to be selfish ~ Lilly Hope Lucario