I know gaslighting and I know toxic people love to use this manipulation and dishonesty tactic, to harm people.
Gaslighting is when someone distorts the reality of a situation, to either not take responsibility, or to abuse someone further.
Saying ‘I don’t remember that’, or ‘that is not what I remember’ is a gaslighting way of basically telling someone their truth, is not truth.
They often only conveniently remember certain parts of conversations, and choose to pretend the rest did not occur. And of course, the part they conveniently don’t remember – is the part where they did wrong, hurt someone, abused someone etc.
It takes courage and self honesty to admit fully when wrong, and when a person has hurt someone. Most people don’t have that courage or capacity for honesty.
I have the insight and discernment capacity that is not common and I will and do work things out.
My therapist conveniently only remembers what she wants to remember and is ignoring the part where she was inappropriate, emotionally abusive and highly unprofessional. I’m sure saying I have chosen to be ‘seduced by trauma’ is not in her notes.
And along with that, is no conscience, no shame, no regret, no remorse, no empathy.
I do realise this is why she has a hard time saying people who lie, manipulate, gaslight etc – are abusers. And the reason is – because she does that too. And to say those behaviours are abusive – means she would have to admit she is abusive as well. And she can’t do that. Because that would tarnish her ‘reputation’ and self belief that she is freakin amazing. As she loves people to tell her. She has a big ego about her own self importance.
And this is why she likes being around abusers. Why she normalises their behaviour.
It’s all very clear now.
And this is the last time I will write about her, because she isn’t worth me writing about.
She’s a toxic, victim blaming, victim shaming, shame shifting, abuser excuser church person, as I knew deep down all along.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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