A comment made on Facebook to me…..
“Hope you find a better therapist. The fact that you’ve managed to make so much progress, despite an inadequate therapist, says a lot about your strength and your determination to heal. Respect!”
I wrote on my Facebook page about the latest issues in counselling, that are the last straw. I know when being with a counsellor for 5 years, and she is still victim blaming/shaming, I needed to end it.
My first counsellor (who I was with for a year) – told me I was doing most of my own counselling. And she was right. Over the last 5 years, I have done most of my own counselling.
Throughout my entire time with my last counsellor – issues repeatedly came up regarding her lack of insight about abuse and abusers and the inappropriate things she has said. Some of which she did apologise for. Some she denied.
This last one, was more than I could handle. It was the final straw.
I realise my capacity for self care, is far stronger now. I should have walked away from counselling when issues came up a few years ago. But, I didn’t because 1) I am used to tolerating harmful people & 2) I had transference issues, of having feelings for her like she was my mother. Which I know is normal to occur in counselling, when a child abuse survivor who had an abusive mother.
But, I cannot tolerate harmful attitudes any longer. And she has made it very clear there is no apologising, and instead denial and gaslighting.
So, I did walk away. And it hurts. Really hurts. I am grieving and will continue to do for some time.
And whilst it is indeed a testament to my strength to heal myself over the last 5 years and to now be able walk away from anything toxic…. it is also a sad reflection of how alone I have always been.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.
All rights reserved.
No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, screenshots, copying & pasting, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods.
This includes adaptations in all forms of media.