I am still slowly ploughing through my book. I intended writing a dedication and acknowledgement to my therapist. Who I now no longer see. My therapy has ended really badly, and at a really bad time. But, that’s life.
So, I will no longer be acknowledging her in my book. Which is sad. I already had part of it written out. And now when I read it back – it is painful. Because the beliefs I had about her, were so wrong.
It’s weird to know my book will no longer have two things in it, that were so important in my life. My relationship with God. And my therapy relationship.
It’s very sad. Very painful. And it’s needed to feel that.
Because grieving is painful.
One of the most painful parts, is knowing that while you are enduring all these painful emotions and hurting so much….. the person who caused the pain, doesn’t think about you at all.
They just move on with their lives. Move on to the next person they can use, abuse, hurt, manipulate, force their harmful beliefs onto.
I think this is why some survivors of narcissistic/sociopathic /psychopathic abuse struggle so much to heal. Because they are in so much pain, yet the person who caused the pain – couldn’t care less. They don’t have feelings of remorse, shame, guilt, or a conscience. So they just move on, really quickly and really easily.
Which is a very hard truth to deal with.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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