Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I realise now – my counsellor was selfishly ‘normalising’ evil all along.


When reflecting on conversations I have had with my ex-counsellor, I realise now, she was trying to normalise evil all along.

This blog has many times where I have written about her highly inappropriate attitudes. One of my most popular blog posts, is about her incapacity to show normal emotions, about sick, evil, heinous abusers like paedophile child rapists.

One conversation in particular stands out, where she tried to tell me another client had a paedophile father, and this sicko’s adult child – believed he loved her. And my counsellor tried to make this evil paedophile – seem normal – by telling me this other clients situation. She wanted me to believe the paedophiles and sex offenders in my life – were normal too.

How sick is that.

I know now, how incredibly inappropriate my counsellor was. She didn’t want to accept evil exits, or that people can simply be heinous, sick, evil, vile beings. She wanted to believe they were good people – who ‘sometimes did bad things’. Her words.

That’s how deluded she is. She is no better than paedophile priest enablers. No wonder she would never comment on all the paedophilia in the Catholic church. No wonder she would never agreed with me about the Royal Commission being necessary. She is no better than any of these other sick church people who enabled paedophiles.

No doubt she believes paedophile priests are good people too – who ‘sometimes do bad things’. In fact, she probably believes the child victims, were in fact the evil ones – ‘tempting these adults’. That’s what many sick church people choose to believe. The children were the evil ones – tempting the poor adult victims into sexually abusing them.

I realise now why despite her making it clear my mother is a child sex offender and her referring to my childhood situation as being ‘your mother sold you to paedophiles/sex offenders’ – she still tried to normalise my mother and make me feel sorry for her.

I now know, my counsellors only goal was to make the perpetrators of heinous, intentional, sick abuse – seem normal and blame the victims for the abuse.

She used the minimizing and trivialising of evil tactic, and made me feel like I was not ‘good enough’ if I didn’t feel sorry for them.

And I know why she did this. It was all completely selfish, self serving reasons. She provides counselling for these sick, evil, heinous ‘people’. And it’s easier to sit with evil and talk to it, when you minimize their evil, when you minimize and trivialise their sick needs, when you minimize the life impacting and terrible consequences of child sexual abuse and in some way blame the victims.

I’ve said it before and I absolutely know this is right…… you cannot be a counsellor for perpetrators and victims of abuse. And my ex counsellor is proof of that.

She had nowhere near enough sensitivity or empathy for my situation. She couldn’t care less, what happened to me. All she cared about – was protecting, enabling and normalising evil paedophiles, sociopaths and narcissists.

She has no idea how much harm she has caused me. How much she has re-traumatised me. How emotionally and psychologically abusive her rhetoric is. Nor does she care. She has no conscience about that, at all.

As long as the evil, heinous people are okay. Because they are all that matters.

It’s the way my life has always been.

It’s always all about the sick, heinous, evil people.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “I realise now – my counsellor was selfishly ‘normalising’ evil all along.

  1. Lily, has it occurred to yet Yet- you know more than these so called specialists ????

  2. Oh Lilly I’m so sorry!!

    You don’t deserve this!!!

    Such a powerful and courageous post you’ve written about this.

    You’re description of the situation is 100% accurate.

    This post will help so many people, myself included, to understand what’s really going on when people/therapists are gaslighting us.

    It can be really difficult to spot gaslighting and confront it as you have.

    Admire you and am inspired by you!!

  3. So sorry she caused such a mess. I’m here when you find strength to confide again. It makes me souviens sad to know that. You’re so clever and smart. I send you kisses. Feel free to text me any time. So sorry I didn’t read your messages earlier. I ‘ve been in trouble. I’m pretty fine thanks to you. You’re so helpful. I want you to get through the mess you have to face. Know what is gaslighting. It’s so horrible to know it happens again to a wonderful woman I know. Take care. Text me any time. Truely yours.

  4. Thank you all, I truly appreciate your kindness and messages.
    Lilly ❤ ❤

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