Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Fighting back suicidal thoughts.















My children are in bed asleep.

The happy act I put on all day, had ended.

It’s 11.30pm on Christmas Eve.

Fighting back suicidal thoughts.

I hate myself.

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.



Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

12 thoughts on “Fighting back suicidal thoughts.

  1. ❤ there is nothing I can do to help you. … all I can do is send you kindness and love.. hope this feeling will pass soon… I understand it is so painfull ❤

  2. This time of year is difficult for so many who have been hurt. But tomorrow is a new day! Praying for you and wishing a Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  3. This will pass, hang in there.

  4. Don’t even try to take it a day at a time. Or even an hour. Take it 10 minutes at a time. Pledge not to hurt yourself for just 10 minutes. Then, make the pledge again. And keep doing it. You only have to hold on for 10 minutes.

  5. *HUGS*
    I know that feeling. I’m there now. I sadly woke up. It’s just past 6am Christmas morning, and I have to put on that *&$#&@$ happy face for the present opening in a few minutes.

  6. Im so sorry it was such a hard day! How are you now.

  7. Lilly, I am so sorry you’re going through this. ❤ I hope you’re all right. How are you feeling? Hugs ❤❤❤

  8. Come on Lilly, talk to us – you don’t have to be so brave – just let us know you are OK.