Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


11 Comments

Terminal aloneness, my constant companion

I have to accept the fact, that I am alone. In terms of people actually in my life, I am completely alone.

I no longer have a relationship with God. My therapy has ended. My husband is completely self absorbed and only cares about himself. My children are children and I treat them as such.

I have friends, but I don’t talk about any of my trauma related stuff. They are superficial relationships. In terms of being connected in any genuine, deep way…. I have no-one. I have no-one who cares about my wellbeing, my healing, my soul.

And I know now, it will never change. I’ve tried and failed. I have to accept I will only have superficial relationships. I will never have what I have always longed for.

The terminal aloneness I feel, is overwhelmingly painful. It makes me have to zone out to cope.

To feel so alone, even when surrounded by people….. is not something anyone should have to endure.

robin-williams

Robin Williams understood this. Continue reading