When a narcissist is pushed into facing their toxic behaviour – this can happen ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Something I have learned from living with a narcissist for the last 16 years, is the narcissists pathological need to avoid dealing with their own toxic behaviours, at all costs.

They lie, manipulate, gaslight and all manner of toxic tricks.

One of these, is when challenged on their behaviour and they cannot get out of the situation – they deliberately start provoking the person who is forcing them to ‘own’ their toxic behaviour.

They provoke and provoke – and deliberately push all the buttons they know will create anger in the other person.

Then when they have achieved that….. they scorn and mock the now angry person – labelling them the unreasonable one.

They will say things like…. “see no-one can talk to you” – “why are you so angry?” – “look at you – you are acting crazy”.

See what they did there?

They provoked and provoked…….. and then when the person blows ….. they deflect the issue away from their own toxic shit……. and turn the situation into being now about the other persons ‘issues’.

Meaning the anger they deliberately and intentionally provoked.

Meaning the anger the person being abused by the narcissist – has every right to feel.

Meaning the anger any normal person would feel at being treated so badly.

Manipulation, and avoidance of dealing with their behaviours, they are very skilled at.

Narcissists Abuse You Twice With Their Continual Lying ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Narcissists are compulsive/pathological liars.

There are also hypocrites and like to abuse you twice with their lying.
They lie continually – which is abuse.
And then they act outraged when you don’t believe them – which is further abuse.
It’s like they stick the knife in…….. and then they twist it. …
And they convince themselves they have done nothing wrong, and ‘they’ are the injured party.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario

My Facebook Page Now Has Over 50,000 Members/Followers/Likers ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

 

My Facebook community page has now over 50,000 likers/followers/community members.

Considering Complex PTSD is not widely known about, and many mental health professionals are not fully educated in Complex Trauma, or Complex PTSD….. I am thankful to be able to reach so many.

Complex PTSD is very different to PTSD. In terms of the trauma causing them and the symptoms endured. And many Complex Trauma survivors, have both.

Complex PTSD is considered by experts, to be far more life impacting and far harder to treat, heal, and understand.

The dark side of child sexual abuse/exploitation, within the photography world ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I am in the processing of learning as much as I can about photography, with the hope of becoming a photographer in the future.

I am someone who researches and reads up on anything important to me.

So far, most of what I have come across has been good, healthy, positive stuff. But, sadly the dark side of life, infiltrates every area of life.

I have come across ‘photographers’ defending naked photos of children being posted on social media, or websites. And their aggressive defending of this, and the name calling and nastiness that results if you have different opinion, are red flags for me. Any over-reaction tends to flag as suspicious to me.

A photographer has been recently arrested where I live, for raping children, using photographs for child pornography and exploitation. 79 offences he has been charged with. He currently is remanded in prison until his court hearing. What a heinous, sick piece of shit he is. I would like to see him locked up for the rest of his life. But, he’ll probably get some pathetic short sentence. And this is probably not an isolated incident.

It is obvious to me – that the photography industry/crowd – attracts these heinous people. Especially for the paedophile underground internet industry, where millions of naked and sexualised photos of children, are shared.

Whilst giving my rational opinion on how we should not be posting naked photos of children online, the aggressiveness of some men, was truly concerning. One of these men also linked a female photographer, who is famous in the photography scene – for taking photos of children (including her own) where they are completely naked. With everything on display for all to see. It made me feel sick. Truly a paedophiles delight. Her work is so wrong, on so many levels. And these ‘photographers’ were defending this woman’s work.

(And I’m not linking her work, because I do not want anyone looking at it. I’m not drawing any attention to it).

For a start – no child’s naked body needs to be posted anywhere. Children should have rights to not allow anyone to post naked photos on line. Children are not property – to exploit for your business, or for vile reasons.

I don’t want photos of me naked online, so children should also have the same rights.

I don’t care if photographers wants to call it ‘art’. It may be art to some people, but it is exposing children’s bodies to everyone – including sick, heinous people. And that is never okay.

What I find even more troubling, is how any parent can want to expose their children’s bodies to the general public. It is very much a red flag. It is exploiting your own child. For money.

People’s true motivations & integrity, matter the most to me ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Being someone who has seen the real motivations, behind so many fake facades, and seen true evil in action…….. motivations matters to me.

Every heinous person, who has abused me, had a fake façade they hid behind. Most heinous people, don’t show everyone the dark person they truly are. They hide that behind a very manipulative image, of someone who is far better than they really are.

Many people get duped by this façade. Many heinous people are experts at manipulation, and they fool many. Including mental health professionals – who you would think, would know how to spot manipulators.

When thinking about this, I remind myself, that even one of the world’s leading experts in psychopaths, admits he was fooled and manipulated by them. So, any mental health professional, who believes they would not be duped, are delusional.

Every single person I have known, who has been a toxic, character disordered person, has pretended to be better than they really are. They even delude themselves, they are a better person, that they truly are.

It is true that some heinous people actually do admit what they are. But, most don’t.

Their level of integrity – to show who they truly are, and be up front and honest – is zero.

And integrity and the honesty that requires…. matters to me.

Having been abused by psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, sex offenders, child abusers, paedophiles…….. I have considerable experience, in seeing their fake images, at work.

Emotionally, psychologically, mentally, physically, spiritually…. exhausted. Every. Day.

A system geared to protecting child sex offenders, and not to protecting children

I read this today – a man who has been charged with 79 counts of child sexual abuse, including rape, assault and making child exploitation material.

http://mypolice.qld.gov.au/blog/2017/01/19/geebung-man-charged-79-offences-rape-making-child-exploitation-material/

These are just the offences the police were able to have enough evidence of, to make arrests. There will far more offences.

This man deserves to be in prison for the rest of his life.

He won’t receive that sentence. He will likely do little prison time, and be made to complete one of the ‘sex offender’ program, that have very poor success rates – in rehabilitating paedophiles.

The legal system is geared towards protecting paedophiles and their ‘human rights’.

The system fails to protect children, from this most heinous abuse.

Paedophiles often get a slap on the wrist as a legal consequence of what they do. And they are let back out into the community – knowing they will re-offend.

Paedophiles rights, are clearly the priority.

To me, they lost any rights, the second they made a choice to sexually abuse a child.

They lost their rights to freedom, the second they caused heinous life long harm – to innocent children.

They lost all rights, the second they stole a child’s innocence from them.

But, the system, the do-gooders, the enablers…. don’t see it that way.

Because the rights of adults, are always considered of far greater importance, than the rights of children.

This is clear within the system dealing with child sex offenders, and is even very evident when considering the rights adults have to hit their children – which is physical abuse.

Animals have more rights, than children.

And no-where is this more deplorable, than in the way children are failed by the legal system dealing with child sex offenders.

“Thank you so much, Lilly Hope, your words are such a blessing to me”

A post to my Facebook page today, which reminds me how meaningful my work is to others.

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“Thank you so much, Lilly Hope, your words are such a blessing to me, and have been for about 4 ? months now.

I’ve progressed so much in healing, just by absorbing your words, and I’ve stopped blaming myself for not being able to forgive all the abusers.

It’s amazing the difference. I’ve been beating myself down for over 15 years now…

No more of that nonsense!

How liberating.  “

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This shows just how much complex trauma survivors need to see true compassion and true empathy.

This post shows how the harmful beliefs of others – can cause so much damage to people’s healing and hinder any healing.

And this shows how the right words, the vital words people need to hear – can make such a difference.

I am glad when I can make that needed difference in anyone’s  life.

When it all seems hopeless – my children are always the light in my life ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

My children are currently on their 6 week summer holidays. This is their last week. I have made sure they are having a great holidays, even on days when I don’t even want to get out of bed.

So much has happened lately, and it is completely overwhelming.

Yet, every day my boys give me the strength to keep going. They deserve for me to keep going and doing the best I can, for them.

When all else fails, and I have nothing else….. I have my beautiful boys.

When I see them laughing, playing, giggling and having fun, and I feel the joy they have within them, I am always reminded I am blessed.

I photograph them a lot now, and I like to catch candid moments of them playing and laughing. When I feel down, I go and edit photos and see the joy in their faces, and it gives me that light I need.

Am I grieving? Depressed? Or both?

I am aware there are different forms of grieving I am experiencing, along with different forms of depression.

I don’t think I know the difference between them anymore.

I’m just trying to focus on one day at a time.

And focus on my children.