Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Life keeps on proving, why most people cannot be trusted ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 Comments

Recent events, both online and offline, have made me wonder why I bother trying to trust people. Most people in this world, are untrustworthy. And life keeps on proving that to me.

There is a lot I could write, but I won’t. And actually I can’t be bothered. I’ve written it all before. Many times. Toxic people, selfish people, manipulative people…. are everywhere.

I am, however, at that point where I am beginning to not even care. I am not shocked by bad human behaviour. I am not shocked by selfishness. I am not shocked by dishonesty.

I find it vile, but I am not shocked.

I’ve been pretty upset about a situation today – that doesn’t even involve me, but does involve people who all claim to be something they really are not. Their capacity to delude themselves, is really strong.

You would think that those educated and knowledgeable about psychology, narcissism, human behaviours…….. would have a better standard for their own behaviour, than they have displayed. And I discerned these people as fake and dodgy, before they even had the opportunity to be toxic to me.

All this proves, is I need to build up relationships very slowly, very carefully and over a very long period of time, before any trust can be considered. This today, has been a needed reminder of that.

And keep in mind, my first counsellor said to me “no-one can ever be trusted 100%”. And I know many of the reasons why.

Dishonesty is at the root of them all.

People being dishonest with themselves, and/or with others.

And the human capacity to rationalise, justify and minimize – any of their own bad behaviours.

It reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, by Carl Jung….

carl_jung___people_will_do_anything_by_mshades-d7vo3ji

It takes a lot of courage and a deep capacity for honesty – to have true self insight and to truly look at one’s own behaviours, motivations and actions……. and be really honest about them.

Most people don’t have that courage.

A lot of people will say it’s okay that most of society is dishonest. I’ve heard justifications for dishonesty such as “Everyone lies” – to justify lying to someone in a way that is harmful and abusive.

Just because a lot of people do something wrong……… does not make it okay……. or justify it.

But, I am reminded of another very wise quote…

“Wrong is always wrong,

even if everyone is doing it…

And right is always right,

even if no-one is doing it”.

~ Unknown

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

2 thoughts on “Life keeps on proving, why most people cannot be trusted ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. Along these same lines…I’ve been thinking recently that my desire to be by myself (and in fact enjoy being alone by myself) is not some terrible symptom of my depression and anxiety, like we are told to believe–everybody always tries to tell me I need to get out more, etc. I’ve decided to accept my feelings and label them HEALTHY because they are. Nothing wrong with protecting myself. I’m actually starting to feel very grateful that I am able to entertain myself with books, crafts, knitting, writing in my journal, whatever. I have little use for most of the world outside my door. Kudos to you for calling out the disgrace of most of humanity.

  2. Thank you for everything you do.

    This one brings up for me a double-bind of PTSD. On one hand, we’re hypervigilant. On the other hand, our lives have shown us we HAVE to be. If you factor in the way people can be abusive personally and the way that some behaviors are part of systemic issues (racism, sexism, and more), it’s foolish to ignore those factors.

    How do we live a life caught between those rocks? Many people never have to ask themselves that question.

    I like your use of the word discernment. It feels like you’re respecting the lessons you’ve lived through but making them work for you instead of against you. Forgetting them feels like disrespecting myself and letting them rule me feels like punishment I don’t deserve. I’m trying to learn my way into the way you talk about discernment. (It might not always be happy, especially at the beginning of a relationship with anyone, but it sounds like the most livable and wise way to go.)

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