Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

How some survivors of abuse – victim shame other survivors & it is narcissism ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


I have noted that far too often the survivors of abuse who need to feel like they are ‘strong warrior survivors’………. choose to also indulge in victim shaming.

They shame other survivors, for ‘not being strong enough’. They like to compare themselves to those who they want to deem to be weak.

They use toxic phrases like ‘don’t be a victim’. ‘I’m not a victim, so you should stop acting the victim’…. which is victim shaming….


I remind survivors………… if you need to have the persona and identity of being a ‘strong warrior survivor’………. that’s okay – but do NOT shame others in the process.

You are not stronger than others, because when you shame other survivors – you are in fact showing your weakness….

Your weakness of little empathy, your selfish need to put others down – to boost your own ego driven identity.

And that is not strength at all.

In fact, it is being abusive.

And it’s narcissism.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “How some survivors of abuse – victim shame other survivors & it is narcissism ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. Thank you for sharing this–I’m dealing with it right now. I have a friend whose husband was arrested last year for child molestation and I feel like she is pressuring me to go to church (which I haven’t felt able to socialize lately, so haven’t been going) and it’s like she thinks if she can survive her situation I should be handling my situation better. I hate that so many people just don’t get it and I’m tired of trying to justify my feelings to other people and being made to feel bad for my perfectly natural reactions and feelings about what has been done to me. Grrrrrr!!!

  2. Thank you thank you for once again revealing the many layers of abuse and standing up against it!!!

    Posts like this are so healing for me because they “bear witness” to my suffering, they validate my abuse as being real and as being wrong which in turn empowers me to confront my abuse and abusers.

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