Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Why I am not remotely interested in the thoughts, or opinions, of any of my abusers ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


People have asked me why I blog as much as I do? And don’t I care what my abusers who read this blog – think of me?

I can see it is odd to some people – that I would potentially let abusive toxic people – know I am struggling, or I am suicidal. Some people seem to think it is ‘bad’ or wrong, to let abusers know we are struggling. Some people seem very concerned with what abusers think, or know.

I couldn’t care less what they think or know…… and never have done since I began my healing journey. And that is why I am able to journal everything. And be so honest, which some people are unable to be – if they are only willing to write the ‘good stuff’ what they ‘want’ an abuser to know.

So in not caring what they think, I am able to write about the hard stuff, like being suicidal, like when I am struggling.

And I’m aware many people relate to that honesty, and how I don’t hold parts of my journey back.

I wrote a post on my Lilly Hope Lucario page about this issue today…….

I have no desire to ‘prove’ anything to any of my abusers.

I don’t need to prove to them – they did not completely break me.

I don’t need to prove to them – I am healing.

I don’t need to prove to them – I am strong.

I don’t need to prove or show them – anything.


Because my healing has nothing to do with them.

My healing is about me.

I have no interest in what they think of me.

I have no interest in their opinion of me.

I have no interest in them in any way.

I couldn’t care less what they think.

They are abusers, so why would anything they have to say, or think – be of any value?

Nothing they say or think is of any value.

Including their opinions of me, my healing, my work, or anything about me at all.

And this is far more healthy, than the attitudes of needing to ‘show abusers we are healing’, or ‘we are successful’, or ‘we are happy’ mindset. That mindset only keeps you chained to the abuser.

You know you are healing, when you are no longer interested in the abuser in any way.

When you have nothing to prove to them, you are healing.

The abusers made it ‘all about them’ when they are abusing us.

Don’t let healing be in any way ‘about them’.

We have nothing to prove to them.

At all.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

7 thoughts on “Why I am not remotely interested in the thoughts, or opinions, of any of my abusers ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. One of your best and most inspiring posts yet! 🙂 ❤

  2. This is absolutely awesome. LOVE it!

  3. Brilliant wise powerful post!!

    Can’t begin to describe the many many ways this post helped me today!!

    Abusers have ZERO credibility!!
    Less than zero.

    Their opinions, views, needs etc have ZERO credibility and value.

  4. Love this. What a great perspective. Thanks for posting and I’m glad to have found your blog. Thank you ❤

  5. I am so glad this post is helpful for many. It is what I believe to be a healthy perspective, and I’m glad it helps people to remember – the thinking/opinions/views abusers have – are worthless.

    It is hard for some people to let go of wondering and being concerned about what an abuser thinks, but it really is a needed part of healing.

    I see some abuse survivors – who don’t talk about all areas of their healing, because they don’t want an abuser knowing about the struggles and painful times we endure. But, I know it is necessary to stop caring about what they think.

    In staying concerned as to what an abuser thinks of us……… we remain chained to them.

    Lilly ❤ ❤

  6. Amen is all I have to say!

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