Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

For those who do not have the ‘best case scenario’ for healing complex trauma ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Complex Trauma – is interpersonal abuse – caused by ongoing or repeated trauma – caused by people.
Experts will tell you – complex trauma is only healed within safe, trusting, healthy, caring relationships.
This is how the wounds of being abused and traumatised by people – can be fully healed.
Many survivors, do not have this.
Many do not have caring, safe partners.
Many do not have caring, safe families.
Many do not have adequate therapists.
And that can hinder healing.
So, whilst we can do many things to help improve our wellbeing, those wounds of fear of trust, fear of abandonment, fear of people etc ….. may not be fully healed.
And I want to recognise that and validate that.
Many people do not have the ‘best case scenario’ for healing.
And that makes this journey, so much harder.
It is necessary to talk about this and highlight this – for all those who relate to this.
And this is another reason why journeys should never be compared.

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When You Do Not Have The ‘Best Case Scenario’ Healing Situation ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

My current situation, is preventing me from healing. I am in a constant daily state of hypervigilance, anxiety, depression. I cannot heal, in the relationship I am in. Yet, alternatives will hurt my children. And my children are my priority.

I do know complex trauma is only healed within healthy, safe relationships. And that I don’t have.

And I realise, this is something many complex trauma survivors are dealing with.

Most people don’t want to talk about how we ‘can’t’ heal. Survivors are expected to heal – no matter what their circumstances are. Which is such BS. And just creates shame, which is not ever okay.

So, I will talk about how our current life circumstances – can absolutely affect our capacity to heal.

I cannot walk away from my children. I would never do that. And leaving with my children, with no job, no-where to live – would be worse for my children, than staying where I am.

I try hard to make the best of each day, for my childrens sake. Even though it affects my healing and my wellbeing. They know the issues going on, because I talk about them and don’t let them think that being selfish, lying, manipulating are okay. I don’t ignore their fathers issues, I deal with them. And my children are thriving. They are happy and they do know they have one parent who loves and cherishes them.

Not everyone can simply walk away from an unhealthy relationship. People say to leave, but what if the circumstances created by leaving, are in fact worse, than if you stay? The choice has to be, to stay.

If you don’t have the ‘best case’ scenario for healing, please don’t feel shame or like you a failure. Often the circumstances we are in, through no fault of our own – prevents healing. Continue reading