For those of us who have endured considerable abuse from childhood onwards, we have brains and belief systems that are wired by all the terribly abusive words and actions done to us.
Our brains are developing when we are children. Which is why childhood complex trauma is so damaging. Our immature and growing brains become wired by the experiences we endure, the abusive words we hear and the ongoing harm and fear we feel.
Our brains have grown hearing e.g. we are unworthy of love. We are unworthy of respect. We are unworthy of being treated with dignity. We are only worth abusing and being treated with contempt. That we deserved it, and the shame is ours. And our suffering and pain, does not matter. That danger is always imminent. These greatly impact the growing brain and the belief systems we form.
It wires us to have deep issues with trust. It wires our brains to be permanently hyper vigilant and ready for more trauma. It wires us to isolate when overwhelmed. To hate ourselves. And so many more fear and shame based thinking and beliefs, understandably formed due to all the severe abuse and trauma – we should never have endured.
This has lasting impact on how we see the world, how we view people and also how we feel about ourselves. This goes on into adulthood and affects us in so many ways.
In order to heal these deep wounds that have taken years, if not decades to form…… we have to ‘re-wire’ our brain to think appropriately. We have to re-wire our brains to have new and positive beliefs about the world and about ourselves. And there is a lot to re-wire, when you have endured a childhood based in ongoing fear and abuse.
I also know – that you cannot hear the appropriate words and believe them immediately. It doesn’t work like that for many of us. Hearing it once or a few times, does not re-wire those beliefs – that are so deeply fused and embedded. I have realised I needed to hear and read it over and over – to even start to believe them. Continue reading