Until I heard my mother had died, I was in a really healthy routine, where I spent a lot less time on social media and my blog, and a lot more time filling my day with healthy healing activities.
I was in a routine of going to yoga & guided meditation twice a week, pilates once a week, my volunteering with people with disabilities and my weekly therapy.
When I heard about my mother, my routine changed. I didn’t feel up to going to any exercise classes. I kept going to volunteering – because I didn’t want to let them down. And I’ve gone to therapy as normal.
Plus, there were issues that needed to be resolved with my husband and his parents, and that went a lot better than I expected. So, that was such a relief.
I am really tired, and although I have already grieved my mother, as in all the abuse, who she was that I endured, the mother I should have had – but didn’t. I’ve been grieving all that for the last 5 years. And I had got to the stage of no longer feeling angry and hurt, before she died. Which was probably good.
So, whilst I haven’t fallen apart, I know my routine has gone out the window, I’m back on social media too much, and I’m really tired.
I know I need to get back into my healthier routine. Next week, I’m going back to yoga, meditation and pilates. I will wean myself back off too much social media use.
The good part of all this, is I have used the time I’m back on my laptop – to write out some great articles, that are helping many, and will be going into my book. So, at least I’ve used this, for good. Continue reading