Despite all the issues that have arisen in my counselling, and all the times when I felt hurt, my counsellor has been more of a mother to me, than my actual mother ever was. She has been so good to me, in so many ways.
I know I push the boundaries within my therapy relationship. I know I get confused as to what I am supposed to feel, think, do etc. I know I have transference issues, which I also know is normal for a child abuse survivor. And I know my feelings and emotions for her, are a one way street. But, I acknowledge that for me, those emotions and feelings are very real.
I don’t expect her to respond, or text me back, at all. I think the mobile number she gave me, is her works mobile, which she may not even look at today. And that’s totally okay. And if she does see it, I know it is totally appropriate that she wait until my next counselling appointment, to comment about it.
I just needed to thank her, for being more of a mother to me, than my own mother. Because for me, she is a significant person in my life. A person who has shown me more compassion, than anyone else ever has.
So, I am grateful for that. And I just wanted to let her know.
(An update on this, my counsellor texted me back. She thanked me and said she hoped I had a lovely day with my boys. She didn’t have do that, so I am so thankful that she did).
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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