My husband comes from a very narcissistic and dysfunctional family. None of them have any insight into that, and they truly believe they are normal and do no wrong. That is far from the truth.
My husband is highly narcissistic, his sister is a drug addict, his parents are selfish to the core and none of them have any conscience, remorse or shame about anything they do to harm others.
This has all been confirmed in counselling.
Fortunately for me and my children, all of my husbands family live the other side of the world. So we only see them when they come for a holiday.
My in-laws are here now, for a 3 week holiday. Today, is the first day we see them.
Due to counselling and confirming my husbands issues, and the way I have been treated by him and his parents, I am no longer tolerating their dysfunction, or narcissism.
Now, I am confronting it. His parents will be told their son is personality disordered, his personality did not form in a healthy way in his childhood and teenage years. They will be told their son is selfish, a pathological liar, an adulterer, emotionally abusive and never learned to own his wrong behaviours and never learned to have remorse or a conscience. And that this has all been confirmed in counselling. And depending on the way the conversations goes, I will also tell them their daughter is a drug addict.
They won’t like this, but that is their issue to deal with. I am no longer placating toxic people and no longer enabling them.
If they choose to be narcissistic in their response – deny and have tantrums (which is likely), then they will be asked to leave. And they will not see my children again.
If they choose to listen, I will tell them I am working with their son, who is in counselling himself to become a better person and to become a better father and they should in fact, be very grateful for that.
I am not looking forward to seeing them, because I don’t like confrontation, but I have enough self esteem and confidence, to tackle this now.
As far as I cam concerned – they chose their toxic dysfunctional behaviours in the past – so they choose the consequences. One of those consequences, is being told the truth of their issues.
The good part of this, is because they live the other side of the world, no matter what happens, myself and my children do not have to see them again. Which does make it easier to confront them and let them know the truth.
(Update on this on 24th May. I found out this week my mother died. I cannot handle my in-laws having tantrums and reacting immaturely to the truth. So, I don’t want to bring this up. I guess that will have to happen another time. Right now, I need to keep the peace……… for ‘my’ benefit, for once).
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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