11 Ways Child Abuse Survivors Emotionally Self Harm ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

There is a fairly good understanding in society about physical self harm – such as cutting, burning etc.

But, there isn’t anywhere near as much insight and understanding, as to all the many ways child abuse survivors – emotionally self harm.

The following are ways survivors of child abuse – harm themselves. Often completely unaware they are self harming. It is often not a deliberate act of self harm.

When considering whether a behaviour or thinking is harmful, it is necessary to look at the result of it. Is there something negative occurring, as a result?  If there is, and the survivor keeps repeating it, then this is emotionally self harmful.

I want to make it clear prior to anyone reading this – there is no judgement about any of this. I am simply pointing out what I see are understandable – but unhealthy ways child abuse survivors harm themselves. And only in identifying these, can a survivor choose to change and heal.

People Understandably Cope In Different Ways – That Doesn’t Mean They Always Give Good Advice ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

People cope with trauma, abuse and child abuse – in many different ways.

~ Some drink and use alcohol to self medicate.

~ Some isolate themselves completely, to avoid any more harm.

~ Some work too hard, to keep their minds busy and off the trauma.

~ Some get really angry and stay angry.

~ Some blame themselves for the abuse.

~ Some suppress all the trauma and think they are strong warrior survivors.

~ Some think forgiveness is the ‘be all and end all’ to healing.

And there are many others too.

I totally understand and have compassion for anyone using these ways to cope.

I understand people are doing the best they can at this time.

But, where I have issues – is when people using these ways of coping – then tell everyone else they should be doing the same. When that is very unhealthy advice.

I see this occurring a lot.

The ways people cope, are very understandable – but often not healthy, or promoting healing.

There is a lot of bad advice out there, about what is required for healing.

And I see this all the time. Which saddens me, because people are believing it.

And there is a lot of shaming goes on too.

That’s not what I want for anyone.

In challenging the unhealthy advice given – I am showing compassion – because my motivation for doing all I do – is for people to heal and move towards better lives.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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You Know You Are Healing From Complex Trauma – When You Don’t Internalise Toxic People’s Darkness ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

This toxic person – decided trolling a woman who has suffered so greatly, and then is grieving the death of her abusive mother – was the person to troll, abuse and harass. Which is a pretty disgusting thing for someone to do. But, that’s sadly how vile some people choose to be.

I always reflect on these situations – as to how I dealt with it and I am pleased with myself. I did not get remotely upset. I did not feel hurt or angry.

I just stepped back, looked at the actions of this toxic person, and placed the appropriate boundaries. I did not respond to her many emails. I did not react back. I’ve learned that toxic people don’t respond well to being told their actions are abusive.

And this is indeed – healing.

I no longer internalise toxic people’s darkness. That’s their shit to deal with.