Until I heard my mother had died, I was in a really healthy routine, where I spent a lot less time on social media and my blog, and a lot more time filling my day with healthy healing activities.
I was in a routine of going to yoga & guided meditation twice a week, pilates once a week, my volunteering with people with disabilities and my weekly therapy.
When I heard about my mother, my routine changed. I didn’t feel up to going to any exercise classes. I kept going to volunteering – because I didn’t want to let them down. And I’ve gone to therapy as normal.
Plus, there were issues that needed to be resolved with my husband and his parents, and that went a lot better than I expected. So, that was such a relief.
I am really tired, and although I have already grieved my mother, as in all the abuse, who she was that I endured, the mother I should have had – but didn’t. I’ve been grieving all that for the last 5 years. And I had got to the stage of no longer feeling angry and hurt, before she died. Which was probably good.
So, whilst I haven’t fallen apart, I know my routine has gone out the window, I’m back on social media too much, and I’m really tired.
I know I need to get back into my healthier routine. Next week, I’m going back to yoga, meditation and pilates. I will wean myself back off too much social media use.
The good part of all this, is I have used the time I’m back on my laptop – to write out some great articles, that are helping many, and will be going into my book. So, at least I’ve used this, for good.
I’m just hoping I get some more energy soon, coz I’m knackered! Which my therapist said is completely normal, considering I’m dealing with my mothers death and the issues that needed resolving with my husband and his parents.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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