Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

There’s No Denying, My Mother Went To Her Grave Abusing Me ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

17 Comments

My mother died recently. She was a highly abusive, selfish woman who had dark needs to abuse her children, and wanting her children abused in the worst possible ways.

Even though I knew this would not happen……… there was a part of me, hoping deep down, she would try to do something before she died. I would have been so happy to receive anything – even just a card saying “I love you, I’m sorry”. But, no. That did not happen. So the abuse she subjected me to, she continued by refusing to deal with it. Which is more abuse.

I cried today, for the first time about my mothers death.

I think the overwhelming finality of her death, and that nothing can now happen to put right any of the past, is really painful. And I know it’s okay for me to feel these intense emotions.

It’s sad. My whole life, is sad. So many people who were so fucked up, they chose to use and abuse me. And not one of them ever had any genuine love or care for me.

46 years of abuse.

It’s a life no-one should ever have to endure.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

17 thoughts on “There’s No Denying, My Mother Went To Her Grave Abusing Me ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. Sometimes words r not needed & a compassionate human hug says it all…
    Hugs to u Lilly ❤️

  2. I now feel some sadness after reading your post. Lily, thank you so much for your thoughts about mothers.

  3. Oh Lilly, I am so so sorry. ❤️ Huge gentle hugs. My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry.

  4. “My whole life, is sad. So many people who were so fucked up, they chose to use and abuse me. And not one of them ever had any genuine love or care for me.” WOW! Can I relate!!!!! Sending LOTS of love and ((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

  5. Understand your pain. My father died not wanting to see my face according to my brother. It hurt a lot. But gradually healing from abuse I feel disdain for a stupid man my father was. I believe that there is hell and probably he must be burning there regretting not making peace and accepting his wrongs. When we are responsible for bringing someone in the world we have to help our children in whatever way possible. We just cannot hate them. My healing has come from being an aware mother.

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