Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


I’m Glad To Have Finally Decided To Create An Ebook – I Can Promote Via All My Platforms ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have deliberated over how to publish my book and I’ve settled on an PDF ebook, I can promote via all my social media, this Blog and my Website.


I considered doing it via Amazon, and I see the advantages of it being promoted on a big audience, but I also see the drawbacks other authors have encountered, of dealing with reviews, dealing with trolls leaving bad reviews, when they haven’t even read the book.

I haven’t got time to deal with that crap. I don’t have the time or the motivation, to deal with negative stuff. And I don’t need my book to become a ‘best seller’ – I just want it to reach the people who need it. I just want to know it made a difference for people. And I could always re-publish it again in the future.

My Website has a lot of traffic and I could pay to have the SEO etc increased.

This Blog – has a of traffic.

And that is all enough for me. I know the book will reach those who need it.

SOOOOO glad I have finally made this decision. Continue reading


Things People Enduring Complex PTSD ~ Want You To Know ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


I have a thriving social media presence – particularly on Facebook, and I asked my community members, what they would like others to know, about living with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

These are just a few responses.

(I have omitted names, to protect privacy).

I wish people knew and learned to appreciate how intense feelings really are for those with C-PTSD.

Not to take my symptoms personally! if I withdraw, isolate, am short-tempered, triggered, zoned out, or have a short attention span, if I am depressed, anxious, or simply cannot sit still…..it is most-likely from the stuff that’s going on inside of me – not so much what’s outside of me. Bridging those two worlds is huge. Most of my personal relationships suffer greatly.

I wish people understood that we need a great deal of patience and love. We need to feel safe to begin to start to heal. It’s not a matter of “just getting over it”. There have been fundamental changes to our brains that cause these reactions. It takes a long time to begin to rewire the brain so those reactions occur less. But that can only occur with a strong support system.

I wish that there could be more emphasis placed on education regarding CPTSD for those who have endured sexual/ physical child based trauma. I am 54 and it seems that I am only learning about this most recently AND thanks to you Lily. Typically we get the anxiety/depression diagnosis and treatment/medication as such. But in learning that CPTSD exists and that it fits into every aspect of my life is like breathing air for the first time. I finally understand who and why I am and how I got to this point.  It is unfortunate that it has taken so long and that that my prior physicians did not seem to have any understanding. So thank you Lily! I’m doing my homework and making up for lost time.

That even just to be able to talk about it without being told to get over it and rather have the issues and feelings be taken seriously and respected. When one cannot talk about it, it becomes worse to the point of shutting down socially and emotionally.

Makes me unpredictable. Daily challenge. Like walking about in a bubble, never truly being a part of life, most of the time. Terrible memory problems. Never try to understand because it’s something a person couldn’t understand unless they’ve experienced it. How horrendous experiences means I will probably always see the world through tainted lenses. How I notice things wrong first before things that are right. Always a longing and need for something that I can’t quite define yet I also know doesn’t exist either. Never feeling like a whole person. Little concept of time, spatial awareness, dates, day and remembering names. How I can feel what other people are experiencing, empathise, support and love…but rarely able to feel that way about myself…like those things don’t apply to me because I’m nothing. The daily fight with my mind and body is real. How I wish it was taken as seriously as physical health. Hope this helps. 

I wish some people understood it’s not a choice and some people can’t remove the toxic people causing the triggers due to their children being with them. All a result of q long line of abuse and a crooked and flawed system. So there is no healing just constant reliving.

That it’s real, that it’s not a choice I made, that it can and does manifest later in life, that I can’t ‘just get over it’, that I’m still me, just struggling. That the same person who treated them well was indeed capable of abusing me horribly. Just because they never saw it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. That when triggered, I revert, emotionally, back to that child.

Living with Complex PTSD does not control my life. I am a successful human & professional, but my triggers are deeply connected to intimacy. I am whole, I am more than my diagnosis. Triggers are moments that make life a bit more challenging but they are not the totality of who I am.

That carrying a teddy bear helps me cope with the overwhelming stimuli and the anxiety of being in a crowd, it’s not because I’m seeking attention (which I loathe) or because I’m immature. I’m just too poor to afford a $50,000 service dog. Continue reading

No You’re Not An Empath, INFJ or HSP. You’re A Narcissist

I will be writing a blog in this soon, because this is something I see occurring all too often. Narcissists are delusional about themselves, and will do anything to justify their ‘oversensitivity’ – which is in fact narcissistic sensitivity. Not empathic sensitivity.


A Therapist Is Kindly Sending Me Her Book On Boundaries ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries………. such a huge issue to so many complex trauma survivors and in particular child abuse survivors.

I cannot emphasise enough how important boundaries are. Both physical, but even more so – emotional boundaries.

My boundaries throughout my life, have been so poor, so soft and I had no awareness of this. Having been raised in a highly dysfunctional, unsafe childhood home, with highly abusive parents, I did not learn boundaries. I didn’t learn how to protect myself. I didn’t learn how to slowly build up trust in people.

I have done a lot of work on my boundaries, but still have further to go. Even recently, I let down my strong boundaries, and the person concerned took advantage and I got abused some more. But, I know my motivation for letting my boundaries down a little, and I know I was encouraged to do this. But, now I realise, I shouldn’t have. At all. I ignored my own intuition again. I won’t anymore.  Continue reading