Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


What I Realised When I Broke My Hand

I’ve been experiencing dizziness and blacking out for many months now. I told my therapist who is also a GP, several times. She was completely uninterested about it. It was as though it was no big deal. So I just did nothing. But, I knew it was an issue. I even told my husband I knew this was not okay and there is something wrong with me. Nothing was done, no tests were suggested.

On Tuesday, I was feeling dizzy whenever I stood up. When I got up to go to bed, I blacked out and fell down. I woke up on the floor with terrible pain in my hand. I shouted to my husband, who took one look at me, and said he was taking me to the hospital. I was in a lot of pain. I was at the ER for 9 hours, throughout the night, getting xrays and sitting and waiting. The doctors confirmed I had 2 broken bones in my hand and they would be plastering it, but I could well need an operation on it. And they said my blood pressure was very low.

The hospital doctors asked me a lot of questions about how it happened and were very concerned I had been experiencing this dizziness and blackouts and my doctor had done nothing. They insisted I ensure I would get tests done and it be fully dealt with. Which I assured them I would.

And to cut a long story short as it is so hard typing left handed, my therapist/GP then decided that now I had broken bones, she would arrange tests. It should not have required I seriously injured myself, for this to be taken seriously.

I’ve done research and it is likely heart problems. There are heart issues in my family history and I know the decades of trauma I have endured, and having PTSD, significantly increases my risk for heart issues. And she was patronising about me stating that. Like none of that mattered either.

I’m so stressed at the thought of having heart issues, the possibility of needing heart surgery.

I’m really upset that I had to break bones before she took it seriously. And I feel like she just thought I was exaggerating about the dizziness. Or she simply didn’t care. Either way it’s not good. And it is medically neglecting my health issues, that are potentially life threatening. But, I guess some of your patients dying, is no big deal to doctors. But, it’s a big deal to my children.

I could have blacked out onto tiled floor or hit my head on something and be dead now. Continue reading