Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

What I Realised When I Broke My Hand

4 Comments

I’ve been experiencing dizziness and blacking out for many months now. I told my therapist who is also a GP, several times. She was completely uninterested about it. It was as though it was no big deal. So I just did nothing. But, I knew it was an issue. I even told my husband I knew this was not okay and there is something wrong with me. Nothing was done, no tests were suggested.

On Tuesday, I was feeling dizzy whenever I stood up. When I got up to go to bed, I blacked out and fell down. I woke up on the floor with terrible pain in my hand. I shouted to my husband, who took one look at me, and said he was taking me to the hospital. I was in a lot of pain. I was at the ER for 9 hours, throughout the night, getting xrays and sitting and waiting. The doctors confirmed I had 2 broken bones in my hand and they would be plastering it, but I could well need an operation on it. And they said my blood pressure was very low.

The hospital doctors asked me a lot of questions about how it happened and were very concerned I had been experiencing this dizziness and blackouts and my doctor had done nothing. They insisted I ensure I would get tests done and it be fully dealt with. Which I assured them I would.

And to cut a long story short as it is so hard typing left handed, my therapist/GP then decided that now I had broken bones, she would arrange tests. It should not have required I seriously injured myself, for this to be taken seriously.

I’ve done research and it is likely heart problems. There are heart issues in my family history and I know the decades of trauma I have endured, and having PTSD, significantly increases my risk for heart issues. And she was patronising about me stating that. Like none of that mattered either.

I’m so stressed at the thought of having heart issues, the possibility of needing heart surgery.

I’m really upset that I had to break bones before she took it seriously. And I feel like she just thought I was exaggerating about the dizziness. Or she simply didn’t care. Either way it’s not good. And it is medically neglecting my health issues, that are potentially life threatening. But, I guess some of your patients dying, is no big deal to doctors. But, it’s a big deal to my children.

I could have blacked out onto tiled floor or hit my head on something and be dead now.

And this is really bad timing for me to realise my therapist really doesn’t care about my health. And likely thought that I was just a ‘drama queen’ and if she did, she was clearly wrong.

I’m already dealing with too much stress daily and grieving my mothers death.

I’m now severely depressed.

I am completely alone.

And really scared.

sad2

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “What I Realised When I Broke My Hand

  1. Lilly, i hear you. As for others i am not sure their excuse. 💛

  2. I’m sorry to hear all of this, Lilly. Is this the same therapist that didn’t address hugging in 5 yrs. or is this another therapist? Do you take any supplements for your heart, like hawthorn berries &/or CoQ10, etc.? They may help you.

  3. Such blatant neglect pisses me off. Sorry for the language, I just can’t stand that crap. What is a person doing in a position that commands compassion if she doesn’t have any? (Rhetorical question of course.)

    I’ve had my run in with this type of therapist and doctor and now more recently veterinarians disregarding my concerns. It’s not right!

    I’m sorry you are dealing with this and all that other stuff to the point that it’s one thing after another. Good that you got the concern from the ER staff, but like you said it should not have come to that.

    Also, my condolences about the death of your mother and all the grief and confusion that I’ve read in your posts surrounding that.

  4. Bless you Lilly

    You are never alone, all we survivors are linked by our experiences and stand together for each other. This shows we are loved and it makes us strong.

    Hold out for a better day – it will come.