I saw my regular GP today. She was very concerned about the events surrounding my blood pressure issues and breaking my hand. She confirmed if I had presented to her months ago with the symptoms I was having then – low blood pressure, dizziness, blacking out, she would have run tests immediately.
A part of me was hoping she would not have said that, although I knew she would. Her confirming this means it’s 100% true that my counsellor GP failed to do what was obviously necessary. And my broken hand is 100% her fault.
There’s a part me, the inner child in me, absolutely devastated. She failed me about something potentially life threatening, probably because she thought I was dramatizing. And now this is absolute proof how wrong she is. If she did think I was being a ‘drama queen’ – she was completely wrong and treated no differently than my abusive family.
And she had the audacity to patronise me about looking up info on the internet. When clearly she just didn’t want me finding out how negligent she has been.
And there’s the 46 year old, who is really angry. Because this is 100% medical negligence. And I have every right to be angry. I could be dead from a heart attack or stroke and my children could have lost their mother. Because she didn’t do her job.
Then there’s all the abusers who have created these heart issues. The strain my body, heart and brain have endured over 46 years of my life, have not just resulted in PTSD, but now serious physical health issues, that can be life threatening.
My regular GP asked me a lot of questions about my family history of heart issues, all the child abuse, me having PTSD. She did her job the right way. Which I really appreciate.
I’m now having a blood pressure monitor, a brain scan, other tests and I have to see a specialist ‘asap’ to find out the exact cause. All tests I should have had months ago, which would also have meant I didn’t break bones in my hand.
And she’s going to refer me for psychiatric therapy for the PTSD.
So, at least someone has my best interests at heart.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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