I am processing this information and it is devastating to realise – I have been subjected to this throughout my adult life.
And to know…….. this was never love. But sexual abuse. And rape.
There is also emotional and psychological abuse occurring when a victim being manipulated and coerced and the consent is not being freely given as a result.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
Articles….
..
https://www.bustle.com/articles/67926-is-it-rape-if-you-say-yes-5-types-of-sexual-coercion-explained
From this article…. which was significant to me being a childhood sexual abuse survivor…
https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/the-startling-truth-about-sexual-coercion-babb/
Growing up as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I didn’t understand what was considered consent and not consent in sexual relationships. Although I felt uncomfortable being pressured to do something I didn’t want to, I didn’t understand the best way to say no. I am a freezer. That means when I get scared, I freeze. So likely when I feel uncomfortable with something, my whole body will get rigid, my eyes will get big, and I will become mute. When I learned more about consent by working at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, I soon realized that nearly all my relationships involved sexual coercion.
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July 6, 2017 at 12:49 am
” I soon realized that nearly all my relationships involved sexual coercion.”
I felt this way after reading this…I’m so messed up from the abuse I had as a child/teen…I became promiscuous in my 20’s (I just thought that was what I had to do to get attention from men)…But in my 30’s and up to now…I dont initiate sex…It would take a lot to ‘get in the mood’, many times involving alcohol.
And recently, I’m not that into it and I dont want it anymore…
But I’m also having health issues and so my whole body hurts and I’m exhausted all the time. This make sex feel like more work.
And my husband doesnt understand…But that is to be expected since I see now that I married an emotionally unavailable man, just like my adoptive father was. 😦
July 7, 2017 at 8:00 am
It is devastating to realize we have lived in a place where love is replaced by abuse. It is confusing and sad. I am sad with you, but happy you are safe.