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Complex PTSD is not PTSD.
Anymore than Bipolar is Depression.
They may have some overlapping symptoms, but they also have different symptoms.
Complex PTSD needs to be validated as different to PTSD.
I’ve realised, it’s hurts more to grieve my mother figure, than my mother.
Because, I always knew my mother didn’t care about me, whereas, I believed my mother figure did.
This used to be my song, for the woman I thought of as the only mother figure I ever had. I used to imagine her hugging me. It was such a source of comfort. Now that’s gone.
Often people don’t know what to say to someone with Complex PTSD. As a result some say things that are harmful, invalidating and hurtful. Often unintentionally. Some avoid us, either because they don’t know what to say, or because they don’t want to deal with our pain. Some suggest we should be over this, or shame us for talking about past trauma. That increases the isolation and shame survivors often feel.
I could write an entire article on the things people have said to me, that were completely inappropriate and very hurtful. Being someone who suffers suicide ideation and suicidal thoughts, I am aware of the life threatening result of being victim shamed, invalidated and being further traumatised by other people.
So, this article is a list of things survivors of complex trauma, who have Complex PTSD, feel are helpful. It is my hope this leads to more productive and helpful interactions and support.
I asked my online Facebook community, and these were some of their responses.
I’ve thanked my Facebook community and I want to acknowledge this here. If it weren’t for the kindness of people online, I would not be here.
This was my post on Facebook. Continue reading →