Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

What’s The Point Of Trying Anymore



A few months ago, I was volunteering, going to yoga & pilates, considering training in disability services, setting up my future career in photography.

I had worked on so many things and was heading in the right direction.

Then a series of events happened, all beyond my control, and my life has fallen apart. And I am trapped in a daily living hell, that I can’t even blog about, because I don’t want it affecting my children.

If I believed in karma, at this point I would be agreed – I must have been a really terrible person in a past life, to get this life I am existing in.

And what is the point of trying to make my life better, when things always happen to destroy it.

I have tried so hard.

So many times.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

7 thoughts on “What’s The Point Of Trying Anymore

  1. Your not alone …isolation plays games with your head. Whisoers lies

  2. I love you Lilly!!! I hope everything gets better for you soon.

  3. What happened to you was beyond your control – none of it was your fault or your karma. You HAVE made your life better. You have worked on sorting out your past and also created this blog that has helped others. You are healing yourself and other too. It takes tremendous strength to face your past rather than ignoring it or disassociating yourself from it. And very importantly, you are raising your children to becoming compassionate and strong people. Perhaps no one else in their lives can do this for them. Life is about striving…striving to be the best version of yourself that you can be. I have been following your blog for a while and see that you are tremendously insightful. Go back to volunteering, photographing again…one small step at a time. Don’t isolate yourself from life – you have so much to live for.

  4. Thank you all. I appreciate your compassion 💜💜

    I am so tired and I have no doubt I am not thinking as clearly as I could.
    Always blog my journey as it happens – good, bad and ugly.
    I know the future does not have to be as dire as it is right now.

  5. Hi Lily, you may not want to be, but I’m going to say it anyhow, you are my new hero!
    Allow me to explain. I’m 53 and 6 months ago I first came across the term “CPTSD”. I became curious and as I looked into what it meant, a light came on. Since then I have been receiving ongoing therapy and things are starting to turn around for me.
    I’ve been looking for somewhere to learn about the topic but also, people to talk about it (that is not an easy thing to find) so thank you for being brave and transparent. I feel it’s important to try and normalise what we feel and go through in this journey.
    Keep your chin up, hop in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you are special, because you are!


  6. Dear Lilly, I can really feel you. You´re expressing exactely what I´m going trough right now. I ask myself what I did do wrong to deserve this pain I´m going trough. i worked so hard in therapy, tried my best and felt my life would finally start to improve when everything around me came crumbling down. Truly thinking of karma even though I don´t believe in past life. I just can´t find any sense in the things life throws at me for the last decades. I´m wondering if my life will ever be worth living. I´m on the virge of giving up. Still glad I found your blog. Reading your posts makes me feel like there is someone out there who might understand what I´m going through and how I feel. I than you from the bottom of my heart, Lilly.