One perspective about being in a relationship with a narcissist and having children is….
Some choose to stay to protect their children, because if you split up – the toxic person will get to see the children and the decent parent will not be there to know what’s happening. And the decent parent cannot help the children, if they don’t know what they are being subjected to.
So staying together enables the decent parent to be aware of everything going on.
Plus, there are so many people who suffer through terrible divorces and go through hell trying to co-parent with a narcissist.
And the children suffer the most.
In some (not all) situations – it is an act of greater love for the children, to remain in the relationship.
And if that is the decent parent’s choice, no-one gets to say that is wrong. Especially the black and white thinking ‘no contact warriors’.
I realise this post is not what many want to read, but that is about someone’s own life experiences and lacking empathy for other people’s decisions. And it is very judgemental.
No one gets to judge others for making this decision.
I have no judgement for people who choose to leave, end the relationship or to stay. Because every situation is different and sometimes the children suffer more when the parents split.
(Just to clarify, this is not in any way about people in abusive relationships where safety is in danger, or where abuse is affecting the decent parent to the point where it impacts their wellbeing in a way that cannot be managed. And I have had people write to me and tell me the worst thing they did was end the relationship, as their children suffered more as a result.)
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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