Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I’m Doing Pretty Well – At Emotionally Detaching From My Therapist ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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breaking the chains

 

I normally think a lot about my therapist. Our conversations repeat in my head throughout each week. I have always had her in my mind whenever I’m thinking about my trauma related stuff. I think about her a lot. Too much.

But, I realised a few weeks ago – this is not healthy. It’s not helping me.

Now, I am having new conversations in my head. If she comes into my mind, I have these new thoughts…

  • I don’t need to think about her
  • What she thinks does not matter
  • I survived decades of hell without her, I will survive anything else without her
  • My experiences, suffering, thoughts, feelings and insight matter and she does not get to invalidate, minimize or trivialise that anymore
  • I don’t need to defend the way I think about abusers anymore, how I think ‘is’ good enough, ‘is’ rational, ‘is’ appropriate
  • Whatever she thinks of me, is ‘her’ issue…. not mine
  • She doesn’t care about me – she is a paid therapist, doing her job, earning a living
  • I’m not a bad person, no matter what she – or anyone – thinks

I’m creating those new thought patterns in my mind, and they will grow stronger the more I practise.

I also distract my mind to something else, after stating these new thoughts.

It’s working pretty well.

I’m breaking the chains.

And I know I will avoid speaking about most things now. I will probably just go along with whatever she wants to hear. It’s easier that way.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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