Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The inevitable happened. He’s Gone.


After more toxic behaviour going on, I told my husband to leave and he packed his stuff and went. I threatened to phone the police to get him to leave. He would hate his cop colleagues finding out the truth of who he really is. So he left.

My children wanted him to leave. Especially my older son.  But later they were upset and both cried. I feel so desperately sad for them. This is not how their childhood should be.

I realise everything their father did to me and them, he did to his first wife and their child. Now I know it was all lies about him being the ‘great husband and father’ he led me to believe he was …. and how everything was his ex wife’s fault….. was said to con me. As was every other lie he told me from day one. Now I realise his ex wife’s depression etc was true. And that all along he was the liar, not her. He made her a wreck, just like he did me.  Fortunately she had her parents to rely on. I have no-one.

He’s destroyed two families now. And he has no conscience. No remorse. No shame. No guilt. He is black to the core. A total psychopath.

I have to build up my physical and mental resilience, so I can find a job, to take care of my boys.

I am so stressed and scared for our future.

But the toxicity is gone. And I have to hope the future of my boys and myself, will be good.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario



Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

7 thoughts on “The inevitable happened. He’s Gone.

  1. Prayers with you Lily. I know that separation feeling when you know it is good and it is a relief but there is also a gaping hole and an uncertainty. You WILL get through this. It is not easy but it is GOOD and it is for the best in the long run. Keep focused and keep going, but take care of yourself and don’t push yourself too hard too soon. This is a tough time emotionally and rest is needed. Deborah. x

  2. Hang in there Lilly, stay strong

  3. Good for you Honey. You’ve taken the stand and you’ve kicked that arsehole to the curb. He’s nothing but a black-hearted psychopath. You are so brave Love to stand up to him and to also protect your boys. Yes, his poor ex-wife and child. He’s just toxic and rotten to the core. I wish you all the best and may good days come your way.

  4. Praying for you.. you did the right thing! xoxo

  5. Thank you everyone – you are all so kind 💜💜
    I am very scared and have so much to now do and it’s so overwhelming.

    • As I’m told often, day by day by day.. I wish you could publish your book. I KNOW lots of us would be buying it for us and others.. I pray that goal you can achieve soon.

      I have a friend that is your age with two little girls.. one night she couldn’t handle him any more of his psychopathic behavior after he tried to hit one of them. She demanded for him to leave which he did but not without taking all her money in the bank as well as savings. I would go to the bank first thing.. if you have a mutual account like she did you want what is yours for your boys. She is now free of her very toxic husband going on 2 years. They live in an apartment and all his child support pays for it. She had a college degree in literature but it was hard to find jobs with it. She did the only thing she could do at that moment,, she started cleaning houses. That way if the girls are sick she can reschedule. It has been hard for her but she tells me repeatedly it was the best decision she ever made for she and the girls. They are young and very impressionable but she sought out counseling for both and herself and it has helped them tremendously. She collapse in bed each night but sent me a picture of them both snuggled in bed asleep next to her and wrote, ” This is why I do what I do.” You are her are the strongest people I know. She felt overwhelmed also and had a bad family life with her bio parents to lean on but was determined it stopped with her. She now has too many people wanting her to clean their houses. She absolutely turned it all over to God and He has directed the path she has taken.

      Blessings sweet Lilly ❤

  6. Lilly, I am so sorry for you and your children for all that you have been through. My kids did not want their dad back either. The kids know. I will be praying for you all.