Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The Deep Searing Ache & Pain In My Soul – For Family ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


I’ve always dealt with everything terrible in my life, completely alone. But most of that, was just about taking care of me.

Now, I have two boys I have to care for. Which is very different. And I desperately wish I had a mother, father, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin…. anyone…. to care about me and my boys. To love us.

That deep searing ache in my soul, is so painful I cannot even express it fully.

I feel so terribly sad that my boys don’t have family either. They only have me. And their father. They deserve better than that. More than that. Much more.

I’ve always known how much I miss having family.

But, this is a time in my life, when I feel that terribly desperate grieving.

And I know this grieving is not helped by the grieving of my mothers death a few months ago, and the death of the motherly role I had placed on my counsellor.

I feel more alone now……. than ever in my life.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario



Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “The Deep Searing Ache & Pain In My Soul – For Family ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. Oh Lilly, I have felt similar feelings – this ache you speak of and I am sitting with you during this time. I wish I could do more. For now I will simply sit with you. 💜 Athena

  2. I can relate so much to your longing for a family that truly has the capacity to care. Both my parents lack empathy, so I know how tough it is….Sending you many hugs! x

  3. Thank you, I really appreciate your messages and support.
    I’m always sad that others know how this pain feels, because I don’t want anyone to suffer.
    I’m sad for everyone who knows how this feels 💜💜

  4. I am so sad that you are feeling so much loss. I wish I could reach out, give you a hug, be your friend, grandparent your children and fill all those gaps. Like so many here we share your pain and have lost much. This website has opened a new avenue of hope when all appeared dark. Thank you for helping so many of us.