I have been dealing with so much over the last few months and it’s completely overwhelmed me. My depression is severe now.
I broke my hand a few months ago, due to my blood pressure issues. I went to the hospital appointments while it needed x-raying and various casts, splints. But I didn’t follow up with the OT or physiotherapy I need on it.
I was also meant to have had a blood pressure monitor for 24 hours. I didn’t go to the appointment. I know that’s needed before any other heart tests can be done.
I just don’t care enough about myself to have the self care I need at the moment. I don’t care if I have heart issues or my hand doesn’t heal. I think part of me just wants to die. And another part of me is scared to find out I have heart issues.
I know I’m severely depressed, and in deep avoidance. I think a part of me has just given up.
That’s how bad things are.
And my doctor/counsellor said I am the most depressed I’ve been for several years.
So my doctor/counsellor has arranged for me to be hospitalised in order to have all the tests done within a few days, for the blood pressure, potential hearts issues. I’ll be in for possibly 4 days, maybe less.
I also need my medication increased for my depression. And this will happen while in hospital too.
I hate hospitals. My anxiety about having to be there for several days, is pretty bad. I don’t want to be away from my children.
But, I know I have to do it. Because I can’t look after myself the way I should. I am thankful I have a doctor/counsellor who is dealing with the care I need, that I am not doing for myself.
The only thing that will force me to go into hospital, is my children. I know I have to do this for them. I know they need me.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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August 16, 2017 at 9:29 am
Dearest Lilly, 💜 I will sit with you. I’m very sorry to hear of your health. Sending love and kindness, Athena 🌻
August 16, 2017 at 12:31 pm
Thank you Athena – I appreciate your kindness 💜💜
August 16, 2017 at 12:13 pm
I’m so glad you are doing this. It is a brave thing you are doing, and a loving thing for your children. This will be a turning point for much better days ahead.
I am praying.
August 16, 2017 at 12:32 pm
Thank you, I appreciate your kindness and message 💜💜
August 16, 2017 at 2:00 pm
I am so sorry that you are going through this, Lilly. I am sending you hope and peace, and love to you and your children ❤
August 17, 2017 at 6:42 pm
Thank you ❤
August 16, 2017 at 4:28 pm
Lily, I am sending love, strength and hugs. I know what you are talking about regarding self care. It’s a very tough one for me, too!
August 16, 2017 at 4:57 pm
Thank you 💜💜
August 17, 2017 at 1:51 am
I’m so sorry that you’re going through so many extremely difficult situations all at once!
I can’t even imagine how hard all of this must be to deal with.
Sending you love, prayers and hugs.
August 17, 2017 at 6:43 pm
Thank you ❤
December 8, 2017 at 8:26 am
Lily I hope you are getting supported.
I will place you on my heart, in prayer.
That your heart become strengthened.
December 12, 2017 at 8:26 pm
Thank you 💜