Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Being Hospitalised To Deal With My Blood Pressure Issues ~ Lilly Hope Lucario




I have been dealing with so much over the last few months and it’s completely overwhelmed me. My depression is severe now.

I broke my hand a few months ago, due to my blood pressure issues. I went to the hospital appointments while it needed x-raying and various casts, splints. But I didn’t follow up with the OT or physiotherapy I need on it.

I was also meant to have had a blood pressure monitor for 24 hours. I didn’t go to the appointment. I know that’s needed before any other heart tests can be done.

I just don’t care enough about myself to have the self care I need at the moment. I don’t care if I have heart issues or my hand doesn’t heal. I think part of me just wants to die. And another part of me is scared to find out I have heart issues.

I know I’m severely depressed, and in deep avoidance. I think a part of me has just given up.

That’s how bad things are.

And my doctor/counsellor said I am the most depressed I’ve been for several years.

So my doctor/counsellor has arranged for me to be hospitalised in order to have all the tests done within a few days, for the blood pressure, potential hearts issues. I’ll be in for possibly 4 days, maybe less.

I also need my medication increased for my depression. And this will happen while in hospital too.

I hate hospitals. My anxiety about having to be there for several days, is pretty bad. I don’t want to be away from my children.

But, I know I have to do it. Because I can’t look after myself the way I should. I am thankful I have a doctor/counsellor who is dealing with the care I need, that I am not doing for myself.

The only thing that will force me to go into hospital, is my children. I know I have to do this for them. I know they need me.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

12 thoughts on “Being Hospitalised To Deal With My Blood Pressure Issues ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. Dearest Lilly, 💜 I will sit with you. I’m very sorry to hear of your health. Sending love and kindness, Athena 🌻

  2. I’m so glad you are doing this. It is a brave thing you are doing, and a loving thing for your children. This will be a turning point for much better days ahead.

    I am praying.

  3. I am so sorry that you are going through this, Lilly. I am sending you hope and peace, and love to you and your children ❤

  4. Lily, I am sending love, strength and hugs. I know what you are talking about regarding self care. It’s a very tough one for me, too!

  5. I’m so sorry that you’re going through so many extremely difficult situations all at once!

    I can’t even imagine how hard all of this must be to deal with.

    Sending you love, prayers and hugs.

  6. Lily I hope you are getting supported.
    I will place you on my heart, in prayer.
    That your heart become strengthened.