Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I Just Need Empathy At Times When I’m Really Low ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


empathy 1


I went to counselling yesterday. I nearly didn’t go.

One thing I realised – that even when I’m at my worst – I can now fight for what I need – empathy.

It was a difficult session. I cried a lot. I tried my best to explain how painful it all feels. I explained to my counsellor I just needed empathy. Not her telling me what I should be doing, or pushing me to be stronger than I am capable of being.

I even told her of a quote I read…

“Empathy is not always insisting everything will be okay.

Sometimes it’s acknowledging that it’s not”

~ unknown

Another thing I noticed, is that even though I was very emotional…. I did manage to remain calm, not get to the point where I needed to just leave.

I’ve realised my counsellor is a ‘fixer’. She wants so much for people to be doing better and getting to a better place, she pushes me too hard sometimes. She doesn’t realise I truly am doing everything I can already. And I know this does not come from a bad place. She is showing compassion and doing what she thinks she needs to do – as a therapist.

But, sometimes I just need to cry, grieve, be heard and her to just acknowledge that. And know that when I am ready – I will do better. As I always do.

I stood up for my needs and she got there. She realised what I was asking for. She even acknowledged that she may push me too hard and I can say when she is doing this.

So, I am chalking this up to progress – for her and for me.

And as for standing up for what I need – when I am at my lowest – this was huge progress.

I also feel a little stronger today. So it was definitely a needed conversation.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “I Just Need Empathy At Times When I’m Really Low ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

  1. So pleased for you Lilly. You can have the better life you deserve. Thank you for sharing. *praying*

  2. ❤ you are working so hard everyday.. even at your lowest… truely you’ve made a huge progress to ask for what you need .. empathy… so happy you’ve received what you needed… ❤
    Thankfull that you share all this
    Much love xx

  3. Oh Lily…… Thank you. Your sharing this particular part of your journey has been more helpful for me than you will ever know. I wanted to reply to your blog post but having only recently beginning to follow you I didn’t feel I knew you well enough to be able to empathise and be sure that I wasn’t just increasing your burden. I hope my comment doesn’t in any way do this. I am very grateful to have found you. I am trying to live as well as I can because I have dependant dogs I love so much that I do not want to cut their lives short by ending mine (they are elderly with no hope of being rehomed). I understand when people are trying to make me comit to living by reminding me of my companions needs but it just makes me feel frustrated and to be totally honest angry. I do the best that i can, but much of the time i dont want to live another day.
    I am sending you a virtual gentle hug right now in the hope that you can experience it as caring from someone who will always believe that you are doing the best that you can the whole time. All my love all-ways
    Jane x