Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

When I’m Struggling – People’s Views About Abusers Are A Huge Trigger & Can Be Too Painful ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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boundaries-do-not-cross

 

Something I have realised over the last 5 years of counselling and processing all the severe trauma I have endured…….. is other people’s views and opinions about abusers can be too hard, too painful and too emotional for me to deal with, particularly when I am struggling.

People are not ‘bad’ people for having their own needed views – and I get people need to believe whatever gets them through. And everyone can choose their beliefs and that’s okay. And I believe that people’s different views are okay for each individual person.

But, some beliefs are far too triggering. They often cause more damage and I’ve realised I need strong boundaries.

When we are struggling, it’s necessary to have boundaries and I know I need to stay away from anything that will push me over the edge.

I’ve learned to have my own boundaries and stay away from reading anything on the internet and social media – that will likely provoke an emotional overwhelm and triggers of the past.

I believe in emotional boundaries – our own to take responsibility for what we expose ourselves to….. and to keep away from other people’s views that hurt.

I’ve learned I can manage my triggers when I am really struggling. Not perfectly – but I am much better at this now.

It takes time to learn better boundaries, but it is worth it and so needed.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

One thought on “When I’m Struggling – People’s Views About Abusers Are A Huge Trigger & Can Be Too Painful ~ Lilly Hope Lucario”

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  1. Sven
    September 25, 2017 at 8:32 am

    Thank you for this blog entry. I recently found myself triggered when a good recovery friend was telling me about his progress with his parents (mainly that he was letting go of feeling shame). His specific comment was “maybe they weren’t that bad and I made too much out of it”. I immediately felt shame and my inner critic kicked in “see others are getting over it!”. Yuck. I held my comments about denial and changed the subject but I spent a little too much time thinking about this and fighting off my inner critic.

    I’ll do some work on this in my group therapy and follow up with this with him by setting an “emotional boundary”. I love the idea and think it will be very beneficial. Also, my friend will be open to it and probably didn’t know it triggered me. I’m only 1 year into identifying and recovering from C-PTSD and I so appreciate your wonderful blog and website. I found them a few days ago and have been reading them both. I’m glad to see a lot of literature and research from Pete Walker and Bessel van der Kolk who I have been studying for a while now. I’m also in ACA and therapy.

    Thanks Again, your work, website and blog are inspiring and very helpful.

    Sven