Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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People with no conscience, no empathy, no remorse…never ‘genuinely’ admit the harm they cause.

This has definitely been a part of my journey.

I absolutely know narcissists will never admit or face up to the harm they have caused. They can pretend, if they have to and can fool many in doing this, and it would only be for their own reasons/needs. Not for the victim. It is never genuine remorse.

I know and have seen this in play, all too often. Manipulation – and other people falling for it.

A classic non genuine narc apology “I’m sorry you got hurt”. Not….”I’m sorry I hurt you.” And during the 20 minutes prior to this apology, the issue to these narcs, was ‘only’ about their image and their distress at how ‘other people would know’, I was called ‘demonic’, and everything denied, minimized, excused, and narc rage shown. No concern for me, at all. All of which has been witnessed by others, who agreed, this is narcissistic behaviour.

I didn’t need to be told what this was, I already knew myself, as the words spewed from the wolf’s mouth, it was a fake, non genuine apology, from a weak narcissist, who projects all his own issues as a man, onto others. And my previous counsellor agreed. She knew my capacity, to pick up on lies, narcissism, non genuine hearts and the words that come out of their mouths, and the reasons why.

This is just one example of many I have seen in my life, where apologies are not real, not genuine and are self serving, with no remorse, no conscience, no empathy for those harmed.

And I see so clearly all those around who fall for it. Or rather – want to accept the narc is genuinely apologising – to make life easier. Again, no empathy for the victim. They are apaths, colluding and going along with the narc, for their own reasons too.

NEVER trust an unrepentant narcissist,

or sociopath, psychopath,

paedophile.

You are a FOOL, if you do,

an APATH if you don’t care,

or apply cheap grace.

And you are ABUSING the victim further,

even if unintentionally.


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Done with Christianity as an organised religion & done with Christian counselling.

So much has happened over the last 2 years related to so called ‘Christians’ that I know has profoundly affected my healing, caused me more abuse and trauma, and I know I need to just separate myself, from it all.

I have seen so many people who claim to be mature Christians, fail so badly and I find it quite bizarre that they all can’t see it.

I’ve seen lies, excuses, corruption, justifications, minimizing, spiritual abuse in the masses, child abuse and well so much more, but I’ve already blogged enough.

I think so many really are mind controlled, into this concept that it is needed to minimize abuse and protect abuse perpetrators. All with their wrong interpretations of grace, compassion etc.

All this has shown me, is how much these people hurt abuse survivors, abuse them further, spiritually abuse them and re-traumatise them and re-victimise them.

And worse, they truly don’t care. They all stick together.

They truly are the perfect examples of narcissist/sociopaths or their apaths. Continue reading


It is such an immature mind, that only wants to ‘focus on the good in people’.

Society loves to promote so many unhealthy ways to think.

‘Focus on the good”
‘A beautiful mind only looks for the good in others’
‘Don’t talk about people faults, instead encourage their strengths’
“Always expect good to happen’
And many more like this.

Hardly reality is it.

This is very immature and all about giving yourself an easy life. There is good and bad in all of us. And neither should be ignored.

Yes, it is ‘reality’ that some people do have considerable more bad in them and do terrible things to other people. So, is it okay to avoid, ignore this. No, because that is enabling them.

I’m not ever promoting that we hate people. But ‘ignore the bad in people?’ Really!? That is not the way to help people to be healthy, by avoiding the bad in people.

That is just apathy and choosing an easy path for yourself, and both of these are rife within society. Continue reading


Alice Miller ‘gets it’ – why society is hell-bent on ‘perpetrator protection.’

Wise and insightful words, I see this everywhere and it really depresses me.

I see it in society, I see it in church people. I even see it in my professional support.

Perp protecting, abuse minimizing, apathy enabling = abuse increasing.

Alice Miller calls this “pandemic” – the protection of the perp”…. just that.

Perpetrator protection.

Alice Miller believes that society has been taught to empathise with the criminal for several reasons, one of the main ones…and rather obvious perhaps is “fear and denial”

This also goes with the whole ‘apath’ pandemic which I also very clearly see occurring.

I should read up more on Alice Miller’s work. I like reading insightful, intelligent, ‘like minded’ people’s work.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Miller_(psychologist)


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People confuse ‘compassion’ for abusers, with being one of their ‘apaths’.

I see people who think they are showing compassion and grace to abusive people, to narcissistic/sociopathic people etc – but what they fail to realise is that they actually courting evil, by becoming one of their ‘apaths’.

I see this, even in people who believe they are wise and spiritually progressed.

I don’t hate abusive people. I don’t want anything bad to occur to them. I do want them stopped from hurting people.

But, I will never condone, enable, excuse, ignore their behaviour. Which is what apaths, so.

It is hard to watch and know there is so little I can do.

Not only are abusive people increasing – but their apath’s, are too.

This is not wisdom, not compassion, not empathy…it is being deceived.

Read here for more info on the Sociopath – Apath – Empath Triad.

http://beforeitsnews.com/strange/2013/11/empathic-people-specially-targeted-by-sociopaths-pt-2-2453064.html


1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys, will be sexually abused before they are 16.

Being an empath, and having such deep compassion for children, this devastates me and makes me cry, every time I think of the reality of this.

People say society is healthy, well I think the stats speak for themselves. It is a sick society we live in, where this occurs, little is done legally, and apathy about this, is rife.

I don’t understand people, I really don’t. The % of people who want to talk about abuse, talk about abusers, is small.

Yet these figures represent a child sexual abuse epidemic. And the are increasing, as apathy increases.

Just to even think of how many children are being abused right now, is so painful. So many hurting children.


Having support, still feels weird. Good, but weird.

So good to have support from my doctor and others, about my intentions to do more about the abusive, narc pastor and her understand my reasons, which are very genuine and appropriate reasons.

And I will do whatever I can legally, which I am finding out more about and I will pursue whatever is legally open to me. I know my heart reasons and I know my faith reasons for this. Wolves in sheep’s clothing should not be pastors. And I don’t want more people hurt by this lying, narcissistic, self serving, wolf. And, I do not care in the slightest what anyone at the church he pastors at thinks about this. I am aware they will wrongly assume all sort of crap. They can go ahead.

My spiritual understanding, my understanding of God, my understanding of Jesus and who He is and my spiritual integrity, is greater than all of them combined. If they choose apathy, If they choose cheap grace, if they choose their needs to remain in their inner circles, if they choose to worship their church and leaders instead of God, if they choose being a narcissist’s apaths – that is their issues. And the shame and all their sin, is theirs too.

Apathy, will never be something I condone.

Using God/Jesus to hurt others, rightly offends my soul greatly.

Support is always needed though and I have this from several people.

Thank you God. I wouldn’t be who I am, without You.


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Nothing offends me more, than vulnerable people targeted for abuse, in the name of God.

I will never be apathetic about this.

Never.

I don’t care what people think of me, about this either.

Jesus was not apathetic about abuse, or God being used as the excuse, and He got angry.

He is my role model, no-one else.

I am a Christian, wanting to be more like Jesus, not trying to be more like ‘Christians’ – who are mostly just church people.

APATHY IS EVIL.

I know that, but sadly most church people don’t.

If church people want to be apathetic, well that’s their sin and shame to deal with, not mine.

And they can harp about grace, their cheap grace all they like, cheap grace is sin too. Cheap grace is for non Christians. For people who have no spiritual integrity.


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I’m trying hard to avoid politics, but I seriously want to swear at Tony Abbott.

The budget. How very Christian. Who’s affected? The poor, the ill, pensioners, state education etc.

But the politicians had a $70,000 salary increase.

And his daughter has a $70K scholarship for uni – that he could have afforded to pay for, that could have been used instead for someone on low income.

And this current Gov’t want to ‘end the age of entitlement’ – what a joke. These middle class/upper class people can be the most ‘entitled’ of all.

I seriously pray hard that this Gov’t will not get back in, in the next election.

Prior to being PM, Tony whined on and on about Julia Gillard and her broken promise about the carbon tax.

And yet – the narcissistic hypocrite has broken so many of his own pre-election promises. What a liar. It borders sociopathic lying. Premeditated, ego boosting, win at all costs – lying and manipulation.

I HATE politics and see so clearly how the dark triad traits gravitate towards it.

And all the middle/upper class people who think he is doing good work (Tony’s apath minions) – well of course you would, wouldn’t you – because it doesn’t affect you.

You can still afford your posh houses, your private education fees, your private health care, your fancy holidays abroad. Maybe, if you couldn’t afford to go to the doctor, and had to choose between that or buying food – you would think differently.


Narcisissm & bullying epidemic, increasingly abusive & unhealthy society.

We are living in a narcissism epidemic where;

Apathy thrives

Abuse increases

Abusers are enabled

Wisdom decreases

Bullying is rife

Victim blaming increases

Fewer people care

And more and more enjoy it.

So wrong!

I refuse to join in with this sickness. I see it so clearly and I see how unhealthy society is.